The Story Behind the Behavior: Trauma-Informed Leadership, Healing, and the Power of Community with Dr. Erlange Elisme

WEBVTT

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Hello and welcome back to Conversations

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with Karen and Kat,

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the podcast where we connect with powerful

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change makers

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visionaries,

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and everyday heroes who are shaping

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culture and community.

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Today, we are joined by Dr.

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Erlange Elisme.

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She is a behavioral health consultant,

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trauma-informed leadership strategist,

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author,

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and founder and CEO of Elisme Consulting

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Services.

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For more than thirty years, Dr.

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Elisme has worked

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At the intersection of behavioral health,

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education, and leadership,

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helping organizations build healthier

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workplaces and stronger communities,

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her work reminds us that behind every

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behavior is a story.

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Behind every resilient leader is a human

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being,

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and behind lasting healing is the power of

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community.

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Drawing from her extensive clinical

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experience,

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advanced trauma-informed

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leadership training,

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and the rich cultural traditions of her

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Haitian heritage, sapase, Dr.

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Elisme challenges us to rethink how we

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respond to stress, leadership, wellness,

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and one another.

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Dr. Elisme,

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welcome to Conversations with Karen and

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Kat.

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We are honored to have you with us.

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Thank you so much, Karen,

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for that beautiful introduction.

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I was asking, okay,

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is she talking about me?

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So, Dr. Lisa,

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before we get into the nitty gritty,

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we would be remiss if you watched any

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of our episodes,

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you know that Kat and I, particularly Kat,

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are big proponents of mental health and

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mental health awareness.

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And July is National Minority Mental

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Health Awareness Month.

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which is dedicated to destigmatizing

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mental illness and addressing the unique

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mental health struggles and systematic

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barriers faced by racial and ethnic

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minorities.

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And so with that in mind, Dr. Leisman,

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can you speak briefly on some of the

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struggles that the Black community,

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I'll just say the diaspora,

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that the diaspora

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faces with getting diagnosed and also

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recognizing mental health in our

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community?

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Wow.

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What a loaded question.

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First of all, to diagnose,

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we have to go.

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We have to go,

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but we have to find people who are

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trained,

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people who understand our struggles,

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So we feel safe to them because one

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thing about trauma informed care basically

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is safety.

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People need to feel safe,

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not just physically, but psychologically.

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A lot of the Western medicine,

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including mental health was not created

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for us in mind.

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Because of that,

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many of us hesitate to go to see

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someone and just to speak to someone.

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Now it's increasing,

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it's getting better because many of us now

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are in the field,

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but still it's really hard.

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So when we're talking about mental health

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in the diaspora,

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we have to talk about generational trauma.

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What has happened to us?

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What has happened to our families?

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What has happened to me as a parent

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raising my son?

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So all that comes into play when we're

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talking about mental health.

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And we also have to talk about not

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only that, mental health costs a lot.

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Yes.

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And there are so many barriers.

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There is the lack of training.

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There is a lack of education.

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of access on many levels.

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So especially now we're talking about

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insurance issues,

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when we're looking at policies and

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everything that is going on,

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we know that it's going to get a

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little bit more challenging for people of

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color.

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Now we're talking in general for people of

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color,

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let's talk about people who may speak

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other languages.

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that's another level of, you know,

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issues that may happen.

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Another barrier, another barrier.

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We had Dr. Kevin Washington,

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who's a friend of the show,

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we've had him on a few times.

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He's written a book called Mbutu

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Psychotherapy,

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where he talks about using Mbutu

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practices,

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which are African practices in dealing

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with

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and healing generational trauma.

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Are there any modalities that you bring

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from your Haitian culture and heritage

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that you use in your practice?

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Yes, I have created,

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because I've been in the field for so

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long and I've seen and I've tried so

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many different things,

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I have some frameworks that I created

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thinking about how we can make it

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not abstract,

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but something that people can take.

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Right now, if we use it,

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we can get some relief.

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I have five frameworks that I work with,

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but one of them is the anchor.

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And what I did with the anchor,

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we have a faith-based anchor,

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and we have a regular one because we

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don't want just to say, okay, well,

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people who have all

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well, of faith can come to us.

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So yes, I have created some.

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Also,

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I have the Elise May Resilience Model that

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I also created

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to help people.

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So I would have to sit and talk

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about each one of those letters that they

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sent for my workshops.

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Can you give us a little bit about

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what the focus is of the Elise May

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model?

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It's resilience-based,

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where we talk about leadership,

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we talk about education,

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we talk about

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how we can use some of those things

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that we have.

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Now, because I'm from Haiti,

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I don't use what they call combat.

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Combat is a thinking that when something

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is happening,

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we come as a community to resolve it.

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because we need community.

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We're here, everything,

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we do it individually.

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In our culture, where we came from,

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we looked at the community,

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not just one person.

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So we really talk about that.

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We talk about being aware,

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because if you are in denial,

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you cannot address your issues also.

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So that brings me to my question, doctor.

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How do people know when their body is

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telling them that they are not okay?

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One thing that trauma does to the body.

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Let me say something about that so I

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can explain why I always try to explain.

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My doctoral program was...

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The entire program was a specialization in

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trauma and from care leadership and

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practice.

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But also after that,

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I went and obtained a certification from

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Harvard Medical School on global mental

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health trauma and recovery.

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So what I try to do is to

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explain the new world biology of trauma,

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what it does to the brain,

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how it changes us.

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The one thing that trauma does to you

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is to disconnect you from you.

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Yes.

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When they talk about dissociation,

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that is the first thing that,

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I believe happens where you may not feel

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things because the brain is trying to

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protect you.

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If you were to feel everything that

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happened to you,

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you probably would not survive it.

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They would crack.

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You would crack.

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Basically,

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that's how we were created so we can

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protect ourselves,

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so we can

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We support ourselves.

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So when trauma make us not understand

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certain things that is going on because

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we're not aware.

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And that's what I talk about awareness.

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Like when I talk about my anchor model,

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the first letter is to be aware,

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to be aware.

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So break down that anchor acronym.

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Can you just shout it out right fast

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what anchor means?

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Oh, my.

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It's awareness.

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Because I have two models.

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It's awareness.

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The N is nurturing.

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C is, oh, my God,

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you're going to test.

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I put you on blast.

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Yeah.

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So I have it right in front of

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me because I have the, I bought that.

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The C is connection.

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Okay.

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Connection.

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The O is opening to community healing.

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That's part of the come beat that I

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talked about earlier.

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And then the R is resting.

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Okay.

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Yes.

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Awareness, nurture.

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C is connection.

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The H is hope.

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And then the R is resting.

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I think I'm.

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Yeah, no, that's good.

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I was reading on that and you can

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just see the different modalities,

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the way we approach, you know,

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mental health I'm a mental health survivor

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and Karen and I we really want to

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help break the shame and stigma and what

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is your advice to those of us who

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everybody says you're such a strong friend

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or you're a strong mom I never see

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you you know break down you holding it

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all together what do you say to that

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person that's walking around so strong but

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they're really tired of being strong

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Well, let me give an example.

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You know,

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when you're flying in an airplane,

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there is something in it that helps you,

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that helps the airplane take, you know,

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fly, right?

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You call it afterburn.

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You need the afterburn burned so the

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airplane can fly.

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But if you keep the afterburn going all

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the time, guess what happens?

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Things start to turn off by themselves

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because it was not created.

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They did not create the jet or the

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airplane to fly on afterburn.

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So sometimes, especially Black women,

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we always...

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a going on afterburn because...

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And we're in a constant state of

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heightened... Yes.

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Always.

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And some of us take it as a

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big compliment when somebody is... Yes.

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But guess what?

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When you are so strong all the time,

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your creativity...

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maybe dying slowly, right?

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Your empathy will turn off because you

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cannot continue to do that.

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And we abandon ourselves too because we

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are always going at a pace that we're

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not supposed to.

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I have said to...

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my sister and two friends before,

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I'm taking my ass off my chest and

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I'm putting it in my closet for a

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little while.

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I'm taking my cape off because I'm tired.

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I'm tired.

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For some of us,

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we have never been given the space.

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When I say some, I mean,

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I'm speaking of Black women.

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We have never been given the space or

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even the luxuries

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To be able to just sit down and

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be, collect our thoughts,

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feel what we're feeling, grieve or,

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you know,

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or grieve the end of a relationship,

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grieve the loss of a person.

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Because you've got to get up.

00:14:31.596 --> 00:14:32.817
You've got to keep on going.

00:14:32.836 --> 00:14:33.897
You've got to keep on doing.

00:14:33.917 --> 00:14:35.477
You've got to get those kids together.

00:14:35.498 --> 00:14:37.298
You've got to get up and get your

00:14:37.359 --> 00:14:37.860
husband.

00:14:37.879 --> 00:14:38.500
Survival.

00:14:38.519 --> 00:14:39.721
We're always in that.

00:14:40.644 --> 00:14:42.866
And I have learned as I've gotten older

00:14:42.907 --> 00:14:44.947
that sometimes I just need to sit down

00:14:45.268 --> 00:14:48.451
and be and just do nothing and be

00:14:48.510 --> 00:14:49.851
responsible for nothing,

00:14:50.231 --> 00:14:52.452
but just feeling whatever it is that I'm

00:14:52.472 --> 00:14:52.874
feeling.

00:14:53.793 --> 00:14:56.096
And we need to be honest with ourselves

00:14:57.076 --> 00:15:00.719
because a lot of times we,

00:15:01.458 --> 00:15:03.480
and it could be because of the lack

00:15:03.520 --> 00:15:05.261
of awareness that I talk about,

00:15:06.302 --> 00:15:09.304
but because we want to show

00:15:10.611 --> 00:15:16.936
to people that we are stronger than we

00:15:16.975 --> 00:15:17.876
were made to be.

00:15:18.429 --> 00:15:19.070
Yeah.

00:15:19.090 --> 00:15:19.471
You know,

00:15:19.490 --> 00:15:23.852
the reason it's because the brain says,

00:15:24.573 --> 00:15:25.994
if you don't do that,

00:15:26.335 --> 00:15:28.475
you're not going to do this, you know,

00:15:28.495 --> 00:15:32.859
because we, we learned it generation ago.

00:15:32.999 --> 00:15:35.779
If we, when we were enslaved,

00:15:36.260 --> 00:15:39.381
if you don't work from morning to whatever

00:15:39.461 --> 00:15:44.164
time you might die and you always ready

00:15:44.205 --> 00:15:45.005
to do something.

00:15:45.025 --> 00:15:45.365
Yeah.

00:15:46.302 --> 00:15:49.606
Our parents just pass it on to us

00:15:50.148 --> 00:15:51.028
unknowingly.

00:15:51.188 --> 00:15:54.352
It's not because they were bad parents.

00:15:54.373 --> 00:15:55.533
It's just that they don't know.

00:15:55.634 --> 00:15:56.274
And they pass it on.

00:15:56.294 --> 00:15:56.936
They don't know.

00:15:57.277 --> 00:15:57.716
And, you know,

00:15:57.856 --> 00:16:01.041
and I think about my house wasn't this

00:16:01.081 --> 00:16:01.302
way,

00:16:01.341 --> 00:16:04.144
but I knew some of my friends growing

00:16:04.205 --> 00:16:04.865
up, like,

00:16:05.370 --> 00:16:07.870
their parents didn't want them just

00:16:07.931 --> 00:16:09.351
sitting down doing anything.

00:16:09.392 --> 00:16:11.013
Like they couldn't just be still.

00:16:12.253 --> 00:16:13.594
They had to be busy.

00:16:13.754 --> 00:16:14.734
And if you're not busy,

00:16:14.754 --> 00:16:15.715
you're not productive.

00:16:16.875 --> 00:16:19.736
So girl, you just hit the nail.

00:16:19.876 --> 00:16:21.437
I have so many questions that God is

00:16:21.456 --> 00:16:21.798
so good.

00:16:21.817 --> 00:16:22.618
Cause I literally,

00:16:22.658 --> 00:16:24.178
as y'all talking about me and I want

00:16:24.219 --> 00:16:24.839
to know about that.

00:16:24.879 --> 00:16:28.240
I want to know about that because we

00:16:28.280 --> 00:16:29.681
walk around with trauma,

00:16:30.160 --> 00:16:31.361
generational trauma.

00:16:31.581 --> 00:16:33.243
And I just was talking about this.

00:16:33.462 --> 00:16:33.523
Hmm.

00:16:35.250 --> 00:16:37.011
And you have to learn how to forgive

00:16:37.052 --> 00:16:41.153
people who hurt you because they was

00:16:41.193 --> 00:16:43.735
carrying generational trauma.

00:16:47.836 --> 00:16:50.638
So how do you honor your family's strength

00:16:52.937 --> 00:16:56.299
while talking about the pain that you've

00:16:56.379 --> 00:16:58.020
been going through for generations?

00:16:59.740 --> 00:17:03.342
You know, if I went back to

00:17:05.167 --> 00:17:08.150
the anchor model that I talk about.

00:17:09.270 --> 00:17:16.076
And the itch is really to honor things

00:17:16.175 --> 00:17:21.859
that are positive and then things that may

00:17:21.900 --> 00:17:24.582
not be that good, right?

00:17:25.142 --> 00:17:28.183
You can be hopeful because I can look

00:17:28.364 --> 00:17:30.846
at my family and say, yeah,

00:17:31.385 --> 00:17:32.047
we messed up.

00:17:33.762 --> 00:17:36.905
But in that too, we can find hope,

00:17:37.246 --> 00:17:37.625
right?

00:17:38.186 --> 00:17:49.056
Because what you just talked about, Kat,

00:17:49.816 --> 00:17:51.597
I experienced it with my mom.

00:17:52.838 --> 00:17:56.221
My mom left Haiti when I was about

00:17:56.521 --> 00:17:57.883
five years old.

00:17:59.236 --> 00:17:59.415
Um,

00:17:59.556 --> 00:18:03.017
and left me with relatives and it was

00:18:03.076 --> 00:18:05.836
not always a great situation.

00:18:06.717 --> 00:18:07.317
Right.

00:18:07.457 --> 00:18:08.458
And as a kid,

00:18:08.498 --> 00:18:11.317
the way I read it, I said,

00:18:11.357 --> 00:18:12.617
she just abandoned us.

00:18:12.637 --> 00:18:12.738
Right.

00:18:14.219 --> 00:18:19.920
But when I grew up and I,

00:18:20.099 --> 00:18:22.140
and I looked and I learned,

00:18:22.240 --> 00:18:24.980
and I talked to her,

00:18:25.279 --> 00:18:27.901
I knew that she was suffering too.

00:18:28.121 --> 00:18:28.461
Yeah.

00:18:29.372 --> 00:18:32.355
She had to do what she had to

00:18:32.414 --> 00:18:34.537
do to try to make it better,

00:18:35.659 --> 00:18:36.318
to try to,

00:18:36.799 --> 00:18:39.261
for what she thought was making it better

00:18:39.623 --> 00:18:40.123
for the children.

00:18:40.143 --> 00:18:42.665
With the tools, with the resources,

00:18:42.705 --> 00:18:44.027
with the support she had,

00:18:44.047 --> 00:18:46.509
she did the best decision at that time.

00:18:46.529 --> 00:18:46.670
Mm-hmm.

00:18:48.519 --> 00:18:49.780
That's when we really mature,

00:18:51.781 --> 00:18:55.183
when we realize that our parents are

00:18:55.344 --> 00:18:58.724
humans having a human experience in the

00:18:58.805 --> 00:19:00.286
same way that we are.

00:19:00.665 --> 00:19:02.067
And they've only done this.

00:19:02.186 --> 00:19:05.088
They're only doing this life one time.

00:19:05.469 --> 00:19:07.329
And they didn't come with instructions.

00:19:07.369 --> 00:19:11.071
So they've done the best that they can.

00:19:11.551 --> 00:19:12.752
Most, not all.

00:19:13.073 --> 00:19:15.453
Especially when it's untreated trauma.

00:19:16.933 --> 00:19:19.499
yes yeah um treated trauma so they're only

00:19:19.579 --> 00:19:21.443
doing the cycle so yeah i'll let i'll

00:19:23.275 --> 00:19:24.714
Give the floor to you, doctor.

00:19:24.755 --> 00:19:25.055
Honestly,

00:19:25.256 --> 00:19:27.817
most of us or most of them have

00:19:27.977 --> 00:19:30.018
untreated trauma.

00:19:30.597 --> 00:19:32.679
Because if you're not aware of something,

00:19:32.719 --> 00:19:33.659
how do you treat it?

00:19:33.679 --> 00:19:35.819
You can't change what you don't hide.

00:19:35.839 --> 00:19:39.501
You can't heal what you don't acknowledge.

00:19:39.541 --> 00:19:41.563
And you can't heal what you hide.

00:19:41.583 --> 00:19:43.844
Understanding the story behind the

00:19:43.884 --> 00:19:44.483
behavior.

00:19:44.544 --> 00:19:46.305
Isn't that what you talk about, Dr. Lisa?

00:19:46.325 --> 00:19:46.424
Yes.

00:19:46.464 --> 00:19:50.086
So, you know, one of the...

00:19:50.666 --> 00:19:52.407
I am a child advocate attorney.

00:19:52.448 --> 00:19:54.167
So I work with children that are placed

00:19:54.288 --> 00:19:56.068
in foster care.

00:19:56.489 --> 00:20:00.990
And one theory that I've had,

00:20:01.111 --> 00:20:01.931
I haven't seen any.

00:20:02.030 --> 00:20:03.652
Well, I have seen some research on it.

00:20:03.672 --> 00:20:04.231
That's not true.

00:20:04.251 --> 00:20:05.612
But I had this theory before I saw

00:20:05.632 --> 00:20:09.834
the research is that trauma changes who

00:20:09.913 --> 00:20:13.154
this child was going to be.

00:20:13.734 --> 00:20:16.855
And because the.

00:20:16.935 --> 00:20:19.277
And so an adverse childhood

00:20:19.853 --> 00:20:21.713
experience, which is called an ACE.

00:20:22.193 --> 00:20:24.335
And so they do this scoring system now

00:20:24.375 --> 00:20:27.435
for how many adverse childhood experiences

00:20:27.516 --> 00:20:29.757
a child has had to come up with

00:20:29.777 --> 00:20:30.637
their post-traumatic,

00:20:30.718 --> 00:20:34.259
if they've experienced PTSD.

00:20:34.298 --> 00:20:37.039
But I've often thought over the years,

00:20:37.280 --> 00:20:39.540
and now research has backed it up,

00:20:40.442 --> 00:20:44.864
that the trauma that children have gone

00:20:44.923 --> 00:20:45.223
through

00:20:46.738 --> 00:20:49.180
can change the trajectory of who their

00:20:49.259 --> 00:20:51.701
personalities were going to be,

00:20:52.301 --> 00:20:53.682
who they were going to be.

00:20:53.702 --> 00:20:56.924
Because a child who may have been very

00:20:57.445 --> 00:21:01.788
open and loving and talkative,

00:21:01.909 --> 00:21:03.289
if they've been abused,

00:21:03.309 --> 00:21:05.912
they may then become withdrawn and afraid

00:21:05.991 --> 00:21:08.553
to deal with other people,

00:21:08.633 --> 00:21:11.095
to experience new people that they may

00:21:11.134 --> 00:21:12.056
become afraid.

00:21:12.662 --> 00:21:14.544
where the same way that if a young

00:21:14.584 --> 00:21:16.345
person is sexually abused,

00:21:16.424 --> 00:21:17.905
it could cause them to become,

00:21:18.426 --> 00:21:20.909
to start acting out sexually at a younger

00:21:21.189 --> 00:21:23.050
age and thinking that all that they have

00:21:23.090 --> 00:21:24.672
to offer is their body.

00:21:25.172 --> 00:21:25.972
So you talk about,

00:21:27.173 --> 00:21:29.915
there's a story behind the behavior

00:21:30.356 --> 00:21:33.980
because sometimes what we see as defiance,

00:21:34.039 --> 00:21:40.105
what we see as a child being disrespectful

00:21:40.814 --> 00:21:42.394
is a trauma response.

00:21:42.414 --> 00:21:43.755
Can you talk about that?

00:21:43.855 --> 00:21:44.315
Yes.

00:21:44.434 --> 00:21:47.656
And the question that when I train people,

00:21:47.676 --> 00:21:51.077
I said, we ask what happened to you.

00:21:51.577 --> 00:21:53.618
And I think Oprah in her book- She

00:21:53.699 --> 00:21:53.939
said,

00:21:54.740 --> 00:21:57.701
when she encounters someone who is

00:21:57.780 --> 00:22:02.583
treating her in a way that doesn't match

00:22:02.623 --> 00:22:03.863
the energy she's giving to them,

00:22:03.883 --> 00:22:06.023
she thinks, what happened?

00:22:06.646 --> 00:22:07.146
to him?

00:22:07.166 --> 00:22:08.247
What happened to her?

00:22:08.508 --> 00:22:09.887
What happened to you?

00:22:09.948 --> 00:22:10.867
What happened to you?

00:22:11.208 --> 00:22:13.288
So now, even when we say that,

00:22:13.388 --> 00:22:16.609
it's not to excuse bad behavior, right?

00:22:17.150 --> 00:22:19.050
But once you understand it,

00:22:19.590 --> 00:22:21.310
just like Kat said earlier,

00:22:21.351 --> 00:22:23.632
you're able to say, okay, yeah,

00:22:24.491 --> 00:22:26.393
it makes sense in context.

00:22:26.413 --> 00:22:26.573
Yeah.

00:22:27.633 --> 00:22:28.032
Now,

00:22:28.272 --> 00:22:30.213
I think we have touched on so many

00:22:30.273 --> 00:22:32.535
things that I don't want to leave and

00:22:32.555 --> 00:22:35.875
not say that there is hope.

00:22:35.955 --> 00:22:36.536
Absolutely.

00:22:36.965 --> 00:22:37.566
Absolutely.

00:22:41.288 --> 00:22:43.130
We know people who have accomplished so

00:22:43.150 --> 00:22:44.150
many great things,

00:22:44.830 --> 00:22:47.412
even though they experience a lot of

00:22:47.491 --> 00:22:48.011
trauma.

00:22:49.432 --> 00:22:51.554
And for these children,

00:22:52.714 --> 00:22:56.576
one adult that is a positive relationship

00:22:57.238 --> 00:23:02.381
can make a lifetime of a change for

00:23:02.421 --> 00:23:02.661
them.

00:23:03.181 --> 00:23:06.282
So there is hope.

00:23:06.933 --> 00:23:08.734
And this is why I'm in this.

00:23:08.855 --> 00:23:12.357
This is why you ladies are having podcasts

00:23:13.238 --> 00:23:17.260
to open people's eyes and also to just

00:23:17.300 --> 00:23:18.461
say that there is hope.

00:23:19.082 --> 00:23:20.703
We can grow, we can change,

00:23:21.203 --> 00:23:22.285
we can survive.

00:23:23.065 --> 00:23:26.788
But there's usually some intervening

00:23:29.209 --> 00:23:31.290
person or therapy.

00:23:31.310 --> 00:23:34.792
There's usually something intervening for

00:23:34.853 --> 00:23:35.713
that shift

00:23:36.448 --> 00:23:38.468
to happen.

00:23:38.888 --> 00:23:40.388
That's what I have seen.

00:23:40.709 --> 00:23:44.349
So either it's that when you've gone

00:23:44.390 --> 00:23:46.049
through some traumatic experience,

00:23:46.150 --> 00:23:48.069
either you're coming in contact with

00:23:48.109 --> 00:23:50.411
someone who helps you see things

00:23:50.451 --> 00:23:50.830
differently,

00:23:50.891 --> 00:23:53.951
or you're going through therapy that you

00:23:53.991 --> 00:24:00.772
have learned how to react to your,

00:24:00.913 --> 00:24:03.093
how to respond when a traumatic thing

00:24:03.133 --> 00:24:05.114
comes up instead of acting out,

00:24:05.153 --> 00:24:05.614
instead of

00:24:06.718 --> 00:24:08.038
lashing out at folks.

00:24:08.058 --> 00:24:09.219
You've learned the tools.

00:24:09.239 --> 00:24:11.400
You've been given those things.

00:24:11.460 --> 00:24:14.500
So there is help,

00:24:15.020 --> 00:24:16.521
but I think that there has to be

00:24:16.561 --> 00:24:20.782
an intervening something or someone that

00:24:20.844 --> 00:24:22.084
makes that difference.

00:24:23.144 --> 00:24:28.365
And my argument for that is that it's

00:24:28.445 --> 00:24:28.946
true,

00:24:29.987 --> 00:24:33.867
but sometimes the person that helps may be

00:24:33.907 --> 00:24:35.308
just a regular person.

00:24:36.253 --> 00:24:41.077
person that is committed to you as a

00:24:41.117 --> 00:24:42.138
human being.

00:24:42.699 --> 00:24:43.359
Absolutely.

00:24:43.539 --> 00:24:45.260
Absolutely.

00:24:45.561 --> 00:24:47.123
My girlfriend was one of the ones that

00:24:47.163 --> 00:24:47.823
said, yeah, girl,

00:24:47.843 --> 00:24:48.804
you need to cut that out.

00:24:49.124 --> 00:24:50.325
I think you need to get some help.

00:24:50.484 --> 00:24:51.306
So you're absolutely right.

00:24:51.326 --> 00:24:52.567
It wasn't a trained professional.

00:24:52.626 --> 00:24:55.068
It wasn't someone that had all these

00:24:55.128 --> 00:24:56.349
letters behind their name.

00:24:56.470 --> 00:25:00.453
It was just someone who close enough to

00:25:00.493 --> 00:25:02.434
you that can say, wait a minute,

00:25:03.175 --> 00:25:04.135
something's not right.

00:25:04.196 --> 00:25:05.017
Something's not right.

00:25:06.916 --> 00:25:08.116
So I will say it could be a

00:25:08.176 --> 00:25:10.698
trusted adult in a young person's life

00:25:11.157 --> 00:25:14.858
that show that someone who's not going to

00:25:14.959 --> 00:25:17.000
hurt them is someone that is safe,

00:25:17.259 --> 00:25:18.819
that they can talk to, that they,

00:25:19.240 --> 00:25:20.960
you know, can confide in.

00:25:21.079 --> 00:25:21.961
And that, you know,

00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:24.101
so it doesn't have to be a trained

00:25:24.181 --> 00:25:25.121
professional.

00:25:25.642 --> 00:25:29.402
But usually what I've seen is that there

00:25:29.442 --> 00:25:32.103
is something or someone that is more

00:25:32.242 --> 00:25:33.983
different that made that has made a

00:25:34.023 --> 00:25:35.844
connection with that with that person.

00:25:36.339 --> 00:25:39.082
Now, what's up?

00:25:39.102 --> 00:25:39.383
Go ahead.

00:25:39.423 --> 00:25:39.643
Now,

00:25:39.722 --> 00:25:44.926
having a trained professional is helpful a

00:25:45.126 --> 00:25:46.528
lot, right?

00:25:46.969 --> 00:25:50.612
But I'm saying when there isn't one

00:25:51.873 --> 00:25:53.493
healthy relationships,

00:25:53.694 --> 00:25:54.955
not just any relationship.

00:25:55.016 --> 00:25:56.916
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:25:56.936 --> 00:25:57.076
Healthy.

00:25:57.097 --> 00:26:03.442
Safe relationship do make a difference.

00:26:03.928 --> 00:26:04.607
You would say, yes,

00:26:05.347 --> 00:26:07.528
I will say having a professional because

00:26:07.588 --> 00:26:09.929
even a huge, big mental health advocate,

00:26:09.949 --> 00:26:10.470
as you can see,

00:26:10.529 --> 00:26:13.309
as my girlfriend called me a poor head.

00:26:13.750 --> 00:26:19.070
And I'm proud for me that having a

00:26:19.131 --> 00:26:23.192
competent or culturally competent licensed

00:26:23.231 --> 00:26:25.692
professional along your journey for me.

00:26:26.403 --> 00:26:28.284
made a huge difference because having a

00:26:28.304 --> 00:26:30.483
conversation with someone who can't relate

00:26:30.523 --> 00:26:30.865
to,

00:26:31.325 --> 00:26:32.924
you may know all the things about my

00:26:32.964 --> 00:26:36.145
trauma or these, that textbook,

00:26:36.486 --> 00:26:38.646
but when you get to my day-to-day

00:26:38.666 --> 00:26:39.067
stresses,

00:26:39.106 --> 00:26:40.708
like what Karen talked about earlier,

00:26:40.728 --> 00:26:41.288
just coming up,

00:26:42.778 --> 00:26:45.160
in a Black community where we're taught

00:26:45.500 --> 00:26:47.300
because of all of our post-traumatic

00:26:47.361 --> 00:26:50.123
slavery syndromes and all those things

00:26:50.143 --> 00:26:51.743
that just inherently come down from

00:26:51.784 --> 00:26:52.884
generation to generation.

00:26:53.204 --> 00:26:54.746
If you don't understand what my day is

00:26:54.786 --> 00:26:55.826
like just to get up and go to

00:26:55.846 --> 00:26:56.106
work,

00:26:56.366 --> 00:26:58.387
to feed my family with redlining and

00:26:58.407 --> 00:27:00.628
discrimination and sexism, ageism,

00:27:00.669 --> 00:27:01.789
and all these other things,

00:27:02.810 --> 00:27:04.892
you have to address that too because

00:27:05.011 --> 00:27:07.173
that's traumatizing every day in and of

00:27:07.232 --> 00:27:07.693
itself.

00:27:08.253 --> 00:27:10.115
So one of my questions to you, Doctor,

00:27:10.154 --> 00:27:11.455
is the myth about resilience.

00:27:12.346 --> 00:27:14.847
What is something that you wish people

00:27:14.867 --> 00:27:17.288
would stop repeating when it comes to

00:27:17.529 --> 00:27:19.330
resilience?

00:27:19.790 --> 00:27:21.732
One thing is that we need to be

00:27:21.792 --> 00:27:23.933
resilient because we go through so much,

00:27:24.213 --> 00:27:25.434
right?

00:27:25.454 --> 00:27:27.836
Other people don't have to use that word

00:27:27.896 --> 00:27:28.637
all the time,

00:27:29.317 --> 00:27:31.078
but we use it all the time because

00:27:31.098 --> 00:27:34.521
we're so comfortable in the pain that

00:27:34.582 --> 00:27:35.221
we've had.

00:27:35.863 --> 00:27:36.883
We've been dealt.

00:27:37.403 --> 00:27:40.486
A lot of it was dealt to us.

00:27:40.990 --> 00:27:42.990
Yes, resilience is a good thing,

00:27:43.811 --> 00:27:49.974
but we need to think about creating

00:27:50.055 --> 00:27:53.436
environments where people do not have to

00:27:53.537 --> 00:27:56.719
always be resilient because in order for

00:27:56.759 --> 00:27:58.019
you to become resilient,

00:27:58.099 --> 00:28:00.382
you have to have gone through things.

00:28:01.662 --> 00:28:04.624
So what are we doing in our policies?

00:28:04.663 --> 00:28:05.944
What are we doing?

00:28:06.605 --> 00:28:09.567
And in my life as a mom,

00:28:10.140 --> 00:28:13.840
So my son doesn't have to be that.

00:28:14.361 --> 00:28:14.681
Yes.

00:28:16.602 --> 00:28:17.862
You know, it's a good word,

00:28:18.221 --> 00:28:22.603
but we need to put it in quotation

00:28:22.643 --> 00:28:23.762
marks, in my opinion.

00:28:24.303 --> 00:28:26.104
Because when we're resilient,

00:28:26.124 --> 00:28:28.243
we really are just high functioning in our

00:28:28.284 --> 00:28:29.025
dysfunction.

00:28:29.125 --> 00:28:34.385
High functioning in our dysfunction.

00:28:34.425 --> 00:28:36.605
That really is what it is.

00:28:37.727 --> 00:28:38.406
You work well.

00:28:38.487 --> 00:28:39.067
I'm stressed.

00:28:39.635 --> 00:28:42.137
Yeah, and that's crazy, right?

00:28:44.078 --> 00:28:46.861
Dr. Lisa, what drew you to this work?

00:28:46.901 --> 00:28:47.540
What is your why?

00:28:47.580 --> 00:28:48.741
We always ask people that.

00:28:48.862 --> 00:28:50.903
What is your why for this work?

00:28:50.923 --> 00:28:51.663
My why.

00:28:52.443 --> 00:28:57.787
I told someone it's because I had lived

00:28:57.907 --> 00:29:02.150
experience of my own trauma.

00:29:03.611 --> 00:29:05.772
And many of us who come to this

00:29:05.972 --> 00:29:06.432
field

00:29:07.010 --> 00:29:09.373
we come to undo certain things.

00:29:09.432 --> 00:29:11.733
And sometimes we don't even see ourselves.

00:29:12.154 --> 00:29:13.796
We see other people that we're trying to

00:29:13.875 --> 00:29:14.336
fix.

00:29:14.836 --> 00:29:16.958
But when we are aware,

00:29:17.077 --> 00:29:20.460
we start to realize, oh, okay.

00:29:21.500 --> 00:29:23.301
So that is my why.

00:29:25.182 --> 00:29:26.904
As an immigrant, when I came,

00:29:27.224 --> 00:29:29.665
I left my home, I left my school,

00:29:30.227 --> 00:29:32.488
I left my community.

00:29:32.548 --> 00:29:35.289
Many people believe that when people come

00:29:35.349 --> 00:29:36.131
from Haiti,

00:29:36.547 --> 00:29:40.107
They just come to a lot of wealth

00:29:40.208 --> 00:29:40.548
here.

00:29:41.208 --> 00:29:41.929
Well, when I came,

00:29:41.989 --> 00:29:46.569
it was not the same because I left

00:29:46.609 --> 00:29:49.191
a big home in Haiti and I came

00:29:49.371 --> 00:29:53.271
here to an apartment in what they call

00:29:53.332 --> 00:29:53.991
the hood.

00:29:54.633 --> 00:29:57.973
And I did not understand that when I

00:29:57.993 --> 00:29:58.314
came.

00:29:59.034 --> 00:29:59.354
Now,

00:30:00.153 --> 00:30:02.815
a lot of people just say Haiti has

00:30:02.835 --> 00:30:04.175
a lot of poverty.

00:30:04.215 --> 00:30:05.675
Yes, there is a lot of poverty.

00:30:06.157 --> 00:30:08.818
but there was a lot of political issues.

00:30:09.298 --> 00:30:14.720
So many of us left all those relationships

00:30:14.920 --> 00:30:15.339
we had.

00:30:15.559 --> 00:30:17.921
So that is one safe thing that I

00:30:17.961 --> 00:30:19.421
can say right now,

00:30:19.740 --> 00:30:21.362
but that is my why.

00:30:22.001 --> 00:30:24.321
And the other thing is that I think

00:30:24.362 --> 00:30:29.243
that God has given me the abilities to

00:30:29.384 --> 00:30:35.065
really explain to people

00:30:35.953 --> 00:30:38.615
what, what is happening in them.

00:30:39.076 --> 00:30:40.116
So I said, why not?

00:30:41.458 --> 00:30:41.917
Why not?

00:30:41.978 --> 00:30:43.338
Why not me?

00:30:43.358 --> 00:30:45.980
So doctor, what does,

00:30:46.662 --> 00:30:50.523
how does trauma manifest in our bodies?

00:30:50.845 --> 00:30:52.425
And can you tell us more about your

00:30:52.445 --> 00:30:53.846
workshop that you have coming up?

00:30:54.426 --> 00:30:54.527
Um,

00:30:54.586 --> 00:30:56.729
the body whispers catch burnout before

00:30:56.769 --> 00:30:58.549
resignation.

00:30:58.670 --> 00:30:58.990
Okay.

00:30:59.089 --> 00:31:01.352
There was a time when I work and,

00:31:02.153 --> 00:31:02.292
and,

00:31:04.332 --> 00:31:06.853
doing a whole lot, being a mom, being,

00:31:07.012 --> 00:31:11.756
I'm a single mom because I divorced and

00:31:15.198 --> 00:31:20.080
working in the field where you are

00:31:20.121 --> 00:31:22.021
receiving everything else that people

00:31:22.162 --> 00:31:25.182
experience, right?

00:31:25.262 --> 00:31:28.444
That's another level that we don't often

00:31:28.484 --> 00:31:29.224
talk about.

00:31:30.105 --> 00:31:33.768
And then I come, there was nothing left.

00:31:34.436 --> 00:31:35.698
for me.

00:31:35.758 --> 00:31:37.478
So I would go to work,

00:31:37.577 --> 00:31:39.179
get up because I had to go to

00:31:39.219 --> 00:31:40.878
work, but I sit in my car,

00:31:42.819 --> 00:31:44.681
not want to go inside of that.

00:31:46.622 --> 00:31:49.363
So that is one thing that people may

00:31:49.383 --> 00:31:52.784
not even understand what is happening.

00:31:52.923 --> 00:31:53.223
Right?

00:31:53.804 --> 00:31:56.384
So that's part of the reason that I

00:31:56.444 --> 00:31:59.226
start talking about what happens to the

00:31:59.306 --> 00:31:59.586
body,

00:31:59.626 --> 00:32:03.147
because if we really think about anxiety,

00:32:04.377 --> 00:32:08.662
Anxiety is not necessarily a mental issue.

00:32:09.301 --> 00:32:12.964
It is a physical issue because when you,

00:32:13.605 --> 00:32:16.028
even when the way we explain it, right?

00:32:16.587 --> 00:32:20.231
We explain that you have butterfly in your

00:32:20.271 --> 00:32:20.711
tummy.

00:32:21.011 --> 00:32:23.934
And if you really stay still,

00:32:24.295 --> 00:32:27.357
you can feel your shoulders going up,

00:32:27.577 --> 00:32:27.998
right?

00:32:28.719 --> 00:32:32.422
So trauma stays in our bodies.

00:32:33.894 --> 00:32:36.676
and um and that's part of the thing

00:32:36.717 --> 00:32:40.440
that we need to learn how to deal

00:32:40.480 --> 00:32:42.240
with and that's how when i started i

00:32:42.300 --> 00:32:45.344
said that we need to be aware so

00:32:45.403 --> 00:32:49.626
we can um first learn how we dissociate

00:32:49.807 --> 00:32:52.588
and how we can go back and treat

00:32:52.608 --> 00:32:57.333
ourselves um and speak about your upcoming

00:32:57.393 --> 00:32:57.692
events

00:32:59.271 --> 00:32:59.912
Oh yes,

00:33:01.113 --> 00:33:08.238
I will offer a webinar on the sixteenth

00:33:09.238 --> 00:33:10.078
of July.

00:33:11.134 --> 00:33:14.796
It will talk about the body whispers,

00:33:14.855 --> 00:33:17.217
some of the whispers that we just talked

00:33:17.297 --> 00:33:17.737
about.

00:33:18.136 --> 00:33:18.896
Like you're sitting,

00:33:18.916 --> 00:33:20.718
you don't even know what's going on,

00:33:20.978 --> 00:33:22.258
but you don't want to go in the

00:33:22.298 --> 00:33:22.857
building.

00:33:22.877 --> 00:33:26.638
Or somebody talks to you, you just,

00:33:26.979 --> 00:33:29.480
oh my goodness, you already know.

00:33:30.345 --> 00:33:32.365
have ten things that you think that the

00:33:32.425 --> 00:33:33.145
person meant.

00:33:33.246 --> 00:33:34.866
And you know the person did not mean

00:33:34.946 --> 00:33:36.626
any of that.

00:33:36.646 --> 00:33:40.228
Those are part of the whisper that

00:33:40.288 --> 00:33:40.907
happens.

00:33:41.088 --> 00:33:44.130
And I talk a lot about burnout because

00:33:44.950 --> 00:33:47.111
I think that a lot of people who

00:33:47.171 --> 00:33:48.691
experience a lot of trauma,

00:33:49.431 --> 00:33:53.992
they tend to burn out faster because of

00:33:54.173 --> 00:33:55.732
everything else that goes on.

00:33:55.772 --> 00:33:57.534
So I will talk about

00:33:57.961 --> 00:34:01.123
that for forty five minutes and it's free.

00:34:01.483 --> 00:34:05.465
You just have to go on that even

00:34:05.566 --> 00:34:07.688
right and register.

00:34:09.028 --> 00:34:09.648
It's free.

00:34:10.530 --> 00:34:12.090
And so for those of you who might

00:34:12.110 --> 00:34:14.952
be listening and not and not able to

00:34:15.032 --> 00:34:15.954
see the screen,

00:34:17.094 --> 00:34:20.356
you go to a bit bright and put

00:34:20.476 --> 00:34:22.277
in the body whispers.

00:34:22.398 --> 00:34:24.820
It's on July sixteenth and it's virtual.

00:34:25.885 --> 00:34:28.547
You can sign up on Eventbrite for the

00:34:28.646 --> 00:34:29.146
event.

00:34:29.648 --> 00:34:31.668
And again, as Dr. Lee Smith said,

00:34:31.788 --> 00:34:32.949
it is free.

00:34:33.608 --> 00:34:34.969
Free is a free.

00:34:35.010 --> 00:34:39.471
Ninety nine is a good price for the

00:34:39.530 --> 00:34:39.891
body.

00:34:39.931 --> 00:34:43.092
Whispers catch burnout before resignation.

00:34:44.132 --> 00:34:47.313
And that is so important because as we

00:34:47.333 --> 00:34:48.114
were talking about,

00:34:48.514 --> 00:34:50.976
we are we are highly functioning in our

00:34:51.036 --> 00:34:51.956
dysfunction.

00:34:52.579 --> 00:34:54.161
And so many of us,

00:34:54.302 --> 00:34:57.204
like we're doing things like when we get

00:34:57.266 --> 00:34:57.646
home,

00:34:57.666 --> 00:34:59.788
we're sitting in the car because we need

00:34:59.807 --> 00:35:03.693
to decompress before walking into the

00:35:03.733 --> 00:35:04.052
house.

00:35:04.193 --> 00:35:05.355
Or when we get to the job,

00:35:05.375 --> 00:35:06.615
we're sitting in the car like, oh,

00:35:06.655 --> 00:35:07.898
my God, I don't want to go in.

00:35:08.635 --> 00:35:10.038
You got to get on the phone with

00:35:10.077 --> 00:35:10.518
somebody.

00:35:10.797 --> 00:35:11.798
Ooh, talk me over this.

00:35:11.818 --> 00:35:11.998
Girl, look,

00:35:12.018 --> 00:35:13.099
I called my therapist one day in the

00:35:13.121 --> 00:35:13.940
parking lot.

00:35:13.960 --> 00:35:14.521
I was like, girl, she was like,

00:35:14.541 --> 00:35:14.661
so yes,

00:35:14.681 --> 00:35:21.969
you got to have somebody on the phone.

00:35:21.989 --> 00:35:23.210
I can't deal with these people one more

00:35:23.250 --> 00:35:23.510
day.

00:35:23.570 --> 00:35:24.570
There's a lot of that.

00:35:25.132 --> 00:35:26.612
And so if that is you,

00:35:26.652 --> 00:35:27.934
the body whispers,

00:35:28.014 --> 00:35:31.137
catch burnout before resignation with Dr.

00:35:31.177 --> 00:35:33.340
Lee's name, like that is so...

00:35:34.186 --> 00:35:36.708
important because we really are high

00:35:36.788 --> 00:35:39.809
functioning dysfunctional people a lot of

00:35:39.969 --> 00:35:45.690
us have carried trauma that we um that

00:35:45.769 --> 00:35:48.411
is not healed and we brought it into

00:35:48.471 --> 00:35:50.251
our relationships we brought it into

00:35:50.311 --> 00:35:54.172
raising our children and that could look

00:35:54.233 --> 00:35:56.554
like yelling all the time that could look

00:35:56.594 --> 00:35:59.574
like being angry and at a height

00:36:03.740 --> 00:36:05.800
That can look like this too.

00:36:08.942 --> 00:36:09.081
Yes.

00:36:09.101 --> 00:36:09.202
Doc,

00:36:09.322 --> 00:36:10.581
what is this when you're on the phone

00:36:10.641 --> 00:36:11.123
all the time?

00:36:11.143 --> 00:36:13.762
That's avoidance behavior, right?

00:36:13.782 --> 00:36:15.364
Avoidance, dissociation.

00:36:15.423 --> 00:36:16.923
We want to dissociate.

00:36:16.963 --> 00:36:18.405
We don't want to think about it.

00:36:18.465 --> 00:36:22.746
We don't want to deal with that.

00:36:22.905 --> 00:36:23.826
I'm guilty of it.

00:36:24.045 --> 00:36:28.927
After a day when I have been dealing

00:36:28.987 --> 00:36:30.507
with some of the most

00:36:31.652 --> 00:36:36.478
traumatic issues that my young clients are

00:36:36.518 --> 00:36:40.702
facing, I want to not,

00:36:40.822 --> 00:36:42.423
I literally don't want to think.

00:36:42.885 --> 00:36:46.268
Like I want to watch something idiotic on

00:36:46.347 --> 00:36:49.070
television that makes me escape.

00:36:49.150 --> 00:36:50.472
I want to be on my phone and

00:36:50.512 --> 00:36:52.675
watch stupid TikToks because I don't want

00:36:52.715 --> 00:36:54.876
to think about

00:36:55.831 --> 00:36:58.211
whatever that heavy thing is.

00:36:58.271 --> 00:36:59.793
So I get that too.

00:36:59.853 --> 00:37:01.713
And that's disassociating because I don't

00:37:01.733 --> 00:37:02.815
want to, I don't want,

00:37:03.275 --> 00:37:04.996
I don't want to think about that thing.

00:37:05.016 --> 00:37:05.777
I don't want to pick it up when

00:37:05.797 --> 00:37:06.496
you have to go back out to it.

00:37:07.737 --> 00:37:13.800
Yeah.

00:37:13.820 --> 00:37:14.440
Honestly,

00:37:14.541 --> 00:37:16.141
there is nothing wrong with that.

00:37:17.123 --> 00:37:20.324
What is it's when you are doing it

00:37:20.385 --> 00:37:22.065
and not doing what you need to do,

00:37:22.106 --> 00:37:23.947
then you need to pay attention more.

00:37:24.507 --> 00:37:24.646
Yeah.

00:37:25.304 --> 00:37:27.126
um about it like if you have a

00:37:27.206 --> 00:37:32.427
kid that needs you and you distance

00:37:32.447 --> 00:37:37.108
yourself then you are creating because um

00:37:37.228 --> 00:37:41.030
the children wants us to be emotionally

00:37:41.170 --> 00:37:44.411
available yes and and a lot of times

00:37:44.472 --> 00:37:47.331
we are not because of our own stuff

00:37:48.032 --> 00:37:49.393
on heels stuff

00:37:52.943 --> 00:37:53.824
So doctor,

00:37:54.485 --> 00:37:56.106
we always ask the question at the end

00:37:56.146 --> 00:37:57.887
of our show, because as you know,

00:37:57.927 --> 00:38:00.027
we want to help promote mental wellness.

00:38:00.409 --> 00:38:01.449
We want it to be a part of

00:38:01.469 --> 00:38:02.449
the normal conversation.

00:38:02.469 --> 00:38:03.971
We always talk about success.

00:38:04.311 --> 00:38:05.452
We talk about weddings.

00:38:05.472 --> 00:38:07.532
We talk about parties, our community.

00:38:07.932 --> 00:38:09.094
When you start talking about mental

00:38:09.114 --> 00:38:09.554
wellness,

00:38:09.574 --> 00:38:12.315
it's like a conversation that somebody has

00:38:12.416 --> 00:38:14.876
to whisper or people feel like they have

00:38:14.896 --> 00:38:15.958
to carry that alone.

00:38:16.577 --> 00:38:18.579
So for someone who needs permission,

00:38:18.619 --> 00:38:20.880
who's watching this show and they're

00:38:20.900 --> 00:38:22.521
saying, I am not okay.

00:38:24.773 --> 00:38:29.014
What practice do you do to help reset,

00:38:29.474 --> 00:38:31.536
help keep you grounded,

00:38:31.835 --> 00:38:34.115
and help protect your mental wellness?

00:38:35.597 --> 00:38:38.637
For me, when I don't have time,

00:38:39.418 --> 00:38:41.119
even when I'm in the shower,

00:38:41.739 --> 00:38:46.400
I just put my hand right here.

00:38:46.500 --> 00:38:50.922
And I close my eyes and I breathe.

00:38:51.021 --> 00:38:51.782
I breathe in.

00:38:59.376 --> 00:39:00.277
And I excel.

00:39:01.918 --> 00:39:03.858
It doesn't take a whole lot of time.

00:39:05.418 --> 00:39:08.981
And it just helps you reconnect with

00:39:09.021 --> 00:39:09.740
yourself.

00:39:11.342 --> 00:39:13.742
I'm going to just say something because

00:39:14.182 --> 00:39:15.583
you asked about that.

00:39:16.523 --> 00:39:20.304
I wrote this book, Reclaim Your Sanctuary.

00:39:20.764 --> 00:39:22.606
Reclaim Your Sanctuary.

00:39:23.085 --> 00:39:23.525
Yes.

00:39:23.686 --> 00:39:27.228
It has some very short practices.

00:39:28.092 --> 00:39:32.072
that are less than one minute that people

00:39:32.112 --> 00:39:34.954
can do to reconnect themselves it's on

00:39:35.094 --> 00:39:38.213
amazon okay but it's it's on your website

00:39:38.233 --> 00:39:40.215
too right i see it on your website

00:39:40.255 --> 00:39:43.255
can we go to your website yes it's

00:39:43.315 --> 00:39:47.597
on my website elise may consulting

00:39:47.637 --> 00:39:50.277
services that come at least my consulting

00:39:50.297 --> 00:39:52.737
services we want we want you to get

00:39:52.757 --> 00:39:55.639
as much that i know that's right so

00:39:55.679 --> 00:39:57.518
we're going to send people to your website

00:39:59.195 --> 00:40:00.795
Okay, thank you.

00:40:01.275 --> 00:40:04.277
The one on the website is an e-book,

00:40:04.456 --> 00:40:04.817
right?

00:40:05.036 --> 00:40:06.916
But if you want a hard copy,

00:40:07.336 --> 00:40:08.938
I only have it on Amazon.

00:40:08.958 --> 00:40:12.237
So elismayconsultingservices.com to get

00:40:12.297 --> 00:40:16.539
your copy of Reclaim Your Sanctuary by Dr.

00:40:16.619 --> 00:40:18.039
Erlonge Elismay.

00:40:18.059 --> 00:40:20.619
Yes.

00:40:20.981 --> 00:40:24.041
So this was a very important conversation.

00:40:24.221 --> 00:40:25.222
Absolutely.

00:40:25.262 --> 00:40:26.161
And if...

00:40:27.440 --> 00:40:29.382
If our listeners are interested in

00:40:29.461 --> 00:40:32.625
learning more about your work, Dr. Elisme,

00:40:32.684 --> 00:40:33.985
how could they contact you?

00:40:35.065 --> 00:40:38.028
My email address is Elisme,

00:40:38.068 --> 00:40:39.208
just like my last name,

00:40:39.409 --> 00:40:44.733
E-L-I-M-E at ElismeConsultingServices.com.

00:40:45.434 --> 00:40:48.215
My phone number is six, seven, eight,

00:40:48.675 --> 00:40:52.298
five, nine, five, six, four, four, six.

00:40:53.018 --> 00:40:54.179
I am on LinkedIn.

00:40:55.141 --> 00:40:56.802
I am on Facebook.

00:40:58.443 --> 00:41:00.344
Elise May Consulting Services.

00:41:00.583 --> 00:41:05.766
I'm on YouTube, Dr. Elise May.

00:41:06.786 --> 00:41:08.708
And also I'm on Instagram.

00:41:09.367 --> 00:41:09.788
Okay.

00:41:10.268 --> 00:41:14.750
And Elise May is spelled E-L-I-S-M as in

00:41:14.809 --> 00:41:16.570
Mary, E as in Edward.

00:41:17.010 --> 00:41:18.472
And that's Elise May at

00:41:18.572 --> 00:41:22.012
EliseMayConsultingServices.com.

00:41:22.454 --> 00:41:23.393
And again, Dr.

00:41:23.454 --> 00:41:25.394
Elise May's phone number is six, seven,

00:41:25.755 --> 00:41:25.934
eight,

00:41:26.445 --> 00:41:30.387
five, nine, five, six, four, four, six.

00:41:30.688 --> 00:41:33.170
And the website is Elise May Consulting

00:41:33.210 --> 00:41:33.730
Services.

00:41:33.849 --> 00:41:36.913
And you can also find her on YouTube

00:41:37.193 --> 00:41:38.494
and IG.

00:41:38.594 --> 00:41:41.456
Just look up her name, Dr. Elise May.

00:41:41.956 --> 00:41:44.097
Thank you so much.

00:41:45.498 --> 00:41:47.639
This was a great conversation.

00:41:47.900 --> 00:41:48.320
It really,

00:41:48.400 --> 00:41:50.922
and an important conversation during

00:41:51.862 --> 00:41:52.764
National Black

00:41:53.208 --> 00:41:53.668
I'm sorry,

00:41:53.869 --> 00:41:58.152
National Minority Mental Health Awareness

00:41:58.211 --> 00:41:59.974
Month.

00:42:00.114 --> 00:42:02.956
It's actually now it's called the BIPOC

00:42:03.076 --> 00:42:06.539
Mental Health Awareness Month.

00:42:06.579 --> 00:42:07.719
But our focus,

00:42:08.139 --> 00:42:09.701
not that we don't care about other people,

00:42:10.161 --> 00:42:14.625
but we want to really bring awareness in

00:42:14.646 --> 00:42:16.827
the Black community and throughout the

00:42:16.867 --> 00:42:20.150
diaspora because mental health has been

00:42:20.269 --> 00:42:21.271
such a stigma

00:42:22.514 --> 00:42:24.876
wherever we live whether we're on the

00:42:24.936 --> 00:42:26.297
continent or whether we're in the

00:42:26.317 --> 00:42:29.860
Caribbean or whether we're in the Americas

00:42:31.061 --> 00:42:35.083
it is a stigma because traditionally we

00:42:35.443 --> 00:42:39.186
have not gone to see psychologists and

00:42:39.246 --> 00:42:41.967
psychiatrists we haven't had access we

00:42:41.989 --> 00:42:44.329
haven't had access we haven't had access

00:42:46.192 --> 00:42:49.293
can I say also I do not do

00:42:49.393 --> 00:42:50.755
therapy right now

00:42:52.538 --> 00:42:54.557
I train organizations.

00:42:56.619 --> 00:43:02.559
I train schools because teachers are under

00:43:02.679 --> 00:43:04.360
a whole lot.

00:43:04.440 --> 00:43:07.061
Nurses are under a lot of stress.

00:43:08.701 --> 00:43:10.641
People like CASA,

00:43:10.840 --> 00:43:15.782
because I'm training for CASA in Fulton

00:43:15.842 --> 00:43:16.322
County,

00:43:17.021 --> 00:43:19.802
the people who are working with the kids,

00:43:20.282 --> 00:43:21.163
they are

00:43:21.733 --> 00:43:25.014
experiencing vicarious trauma.

00:43:27.275 --> 00:43:27.615
Yeah.

00:43:28.155 --> 00:43:28.576
The volunteer.

00:43:28.596 --> 00:43:28.655
Yes.

00:43:28.675 --> 00:43:31.538
On a small, very, very, very,

00:43:31.557 --> 00:43:34.418
I have a handful of clients that I

00:43:34.518 --> 00:43:37.481
see as a trauma-informed life coach.

00:43:37.501 --> 00:43:38.661
Okay.

00:43:38.721 --> 00:43:39.541
However,

00:43:40.001 --> 00:43:42.862
if somebody needs a therapist that is

00:43:42.922 --> 00:43:43.983
trauma-informed,

00:43:44.224 --> 00:43:44.744
I have

00:43:45.429 --> 00:43:48.130
a network of people that I can refer

00:43:48.150 --> 00:43:48.471
them to.

00:43:48.791 --> 00:43:50.431
Awesome, awesome, awesome.

00:43:50.552 --> 00:43:51.231
That's so important.

00:43:51.251 --> 00:43:52.291
So important.

00:43:52.791 --> 00:43:54.333
It really, really is.

00:43:54.432 --> 00:43:54.813
It really is.

00:43:54.833 --> 00:43:57.034
Can I say one last thing that doctor

00:43:57.054 --> 00:43:58.134
has been recognized,

00:43:58.233 --> 00:43:59.454
and correct me if I'm wrong,

00:43:59.514 --> 00:44:02.255
you did receive Gwinnett County's

00:44:02.335 --> 00:44:03.755
Mentorship of the Year Award.

00:44:04.838 --> 00:44:06.980
Yes, I did.

00:44:07.199 --> 00:44:08.260
Awesome.

00:44:09.402 --> 00:44:09.963
I did.

00:44:10.563 --> 00:44:13.686
I worked in education most of my

00:44:14.407 --> 00:44:15.608
professional life.

00:44:16.248 --> 00:44:18.291
After I left two years ago,

00:44:18.590 --> 00:44:21.293
I decided to stay because one of the

00:44:21.353 --> 00:44:22.994
students that I worked with,

00:44:24.335 --> 00:44:26.077
I met her in third grade.

00:44:27.090 --> 00:44:29.512
And I wanted to just work with her.

00:44:30.972 --> 00:44:32.434
She graduated this year.

00:44:34.335 --> 00:44:36.436
And I have another one graduating next

00:44:36.476 --> 00:44:36.815
year.

00:44:37.335 --> 00:44:41.057
So this is what I do.

00:44:41.157 --> 00:44:44.440
I always wish when I was in school,

00:44:45.019 --> 00:44:47.242
I had someone that would just sit and

00:44:47.282 --> 00:44:48.161
listen to me.

00:44:48.262 --> 00:44:50.083
And I'd love to get to do that.

00:44:51.003 --> 00:44:51.983
That's a beautiful thing.

00:44:52.063 --> 00:44:53.925
Well, congratulations on that, Ana.

00:44:53.945 --> 00:44:54.164
Absolutely.

00:44:56.172 --> 00:44:59.355
Working with young people is not something

00:44:59.394 --> 00:45:00.735
that everybody can do and it's not

00:45:00.755 --> 00:45:04.117
something that everyone should do.

00:45:04.579 --> 00:45:07.780
It takes a special part to work with

00:45:07.800 --> 00:45:11.403
young people and for them to feel and

00:45:12.844 --> 00:45:14.565
to take the time to make sure that

00:45:14.585 --> 00:45:16.708
they feel seen and heard.

00:45:17.387 --> 00:45:18.628
Yes.

00:45:18.668 --> 00:45:20.771
That's important work and thank you for

00:45:20.791 --> 00:45:21.311
doing that.

00:45:21.331 --> 00:45:22.331
Yes, thank you.

00:45:22.411 --> 00:45:23.313
Anything else, Katharine?

00:45:24.248 --> 00:45:25.809
No, that's it, girl.

00:45:25.829 --> 00:45:26.409
I am so excited.

00:45:26.650 --> 00:45:28.371
I look forward to seeing her out on

00:45:28.391 --> 00:45:29.572
these streets doing the work.

00:45:29.612 --> 00:45:29.692
Yeah.

00:45:31.532 --> 00:45:33.373
And to our listeners, as always,

00:45:33.773 --> 00:45:35.635
we want you to subscribe to Conversations

00:45:35.675 --> 00:45:38.096
with Karen and Kat on YouTube, Facebook,

00:45:38.275 --> 00:45:41.597
IG, and wherever you find your podcast.

00:45:41.898 --> 00:45:45.018
Remember that you are a part of the

00:45:45.059 --> 00:45:45.980
conversations.

00:45:46.420 --> 00:45:48.760
Thank you for joining us on this episode

00:45:48.820 --> 00:45:50.681
of Conversations with Karen and Kat.

00:45:51.126 --> 00:45:51.288
Well,

00:45:51.327 --> 00:45:52.956
we are impacting the world one

00:45:52.976 --> 00:45:54.164
conversation at a time.