Healing Changed Everything: Eboni Caldwell's Journey from Survival to Purpose

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Hello,

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and welcome back to Conversations with

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Karen and Kat,

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the podcast where we connect with powerful

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change makers, visionaries,

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and everyday heroes who are shaping

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culture and community.

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And today we are joined by this beautiful

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Ebony Caldwell.

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Ebony is the founder of Productive and

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Prosper Us Empowerment, LLC.

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She is a certified life coach,

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motivational speaker, entrepreneur,

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and author.

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Through her journey of overcoming

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homelessness, domestic violence, divorce,

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financial hardships,

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and other personal challenges,

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Ebony has discovered that healing is not

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about erasing the past,

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It's about allowing us to transform our

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future.

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Today,

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she empowers women to embrace self-help,

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break unhealthy cycles,

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and live lives rooted in purpose, faith,

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and possibility.

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Ebony,

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welcome to Conversations with Karen and

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Kat.

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Thank you so much for joining us.

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We're so happy to have you.

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So my first question is, well,

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before I get into questions,

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I just have to say that Kat and

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I met Ebony a year ago.

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And we're talking to her during the

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Juneteenth Festival in twenty twenty five.

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And she was striking.

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This beautiful woman with a head full of

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curls.

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And just I mean,

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she was she was stunning.

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And Kat and I both thought that.

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And we were drawing her and we started

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having a conversation.

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Because I think I might have had a

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conversation with you first and you were

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telling me about.

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Mm hmm.

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about your organization that you started.

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And then Kat had a conversation with you

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the same day.

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And I was like, I just met her.

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And both of us said, podcast,

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we gotta have a podcast.

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It took a while,

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but finally we have beautiful Ebony.

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In reading through your bio,

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you said when a woman heals,

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she changes everything around her.

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Tell me what that statement has meant in

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your life.

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That's that very good one for me.

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So it,

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Healing changes everything from my outlook

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on life, the decisions I make,

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the way that I treat others,

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the way that I speak to myself,

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the boundaries that I create,

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and everything is out of love.

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It's like I don't hate anyone.

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I'm not mad at anyone.

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I've healed to the point to where I

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love you,

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but I'm going to love you from afar.

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I have family members that I love from

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afar.

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I know that's not a problem for me

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at all.

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And it's not.

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I'm not mad.

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I don't.

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And I'm the type of person where I

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don't even argue with other women or men.

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It doesn't matter.

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It's just like,

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if you want to take that,

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I'll take the L. You can have it.

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Because there's so many other blessings

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that are coming my way.

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And there's so much abundance around.

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I can't waste the time that I would

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normally take to go off on someone.

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Because I'm not going to give you that.

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And it's not worth the energy.

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It's not.

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And I call them energy vampires.

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That's what I call them.

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They'll drain you.

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Yeah, man,

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because when people costing you your

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peace, they too expensive.

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Even if I was a multi-billionaire,

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I'm still not paying for it.

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No, thank you.

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That's right.

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Yeah, absolutely.

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What brought you to that moment when you

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realized...

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that you had to begin your healing

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process?

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Oh,

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there was a lot of different moments

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because it just didn't happen.

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There was different moments.

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And I'll say where it was the main

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thing when I was, I'm from Maryland.

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Okay.

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Not originally,

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but I lived in Maryland since ninety four

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and I became homeless in Maryland.

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And this is like,

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this is not no one time y'all was

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homeless when I was pregnant with twins.

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I was homeless while I was pregnant with

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twins.

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I put myself in a maternity home ran

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by Catholic nuns.

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They took care of me.

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I thank the divine because it was an

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awesome place.

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Married, boom, and divorced.

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And then homeless while I was married.

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Then homeless again for a third time.

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And it was just a chain of reaction

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of things that happened and led to that.

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Anyway, during that time,

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I had to go move back in with

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my ex-husband.

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I have no shame in my game.

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I had to go move back in with

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my ex-husband, but we were friends.

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After we divorced, we stayed good.

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We're better as friends.

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So after divorce, he still had his place.

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And I was like,

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that's the only place I trusted where I

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know nothing would happen to me and I

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was in a safe space because we had

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respect for each other.

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And when I moved there, I had surgery.

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I had to get my uterus removed because

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I had fibroids all the way up to

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here.

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So I had to get them removed and

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I had to heal and I couldn't go

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nowhere.

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I couldn't do anything.

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I couldn't have a boyfriend.

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I'm staying with my ex.

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But we were friends.

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I mean, when I say completely friends,

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nothing, because that's not how I move.

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And so, yes.

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And then that's where the healing took

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place.

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And when I say healing, this,

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the divine creation,

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I've got so aligned with the most time.

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Oh my gosh.

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Like,

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Y'all wouldn't understand,

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but it's like I was celibate as well.

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I was celibate for six years because I

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was supposed to have been living with him.

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Oh,

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it's only going to take me six months.

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Then COVID hit.

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So I was there from two thousand eighteen

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to twenty twenty two.

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Wow.

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Yeah.

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And anyway, so then I was celibate,

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all that stuff.

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And that's where the healing went from

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crying to releasing things, to forgiving,

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to talking to God every day, every night,

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to the point where I was so aligned.

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I mean,

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even talking to my youth before I let

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it go, talking to my inner child,

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me and my inner child are just like

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this.

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and my inner child just like this because

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i had she had to heal and then

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i had to talk to her in the

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mirror talk to her and let her know

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like baby girl i got you it is

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okay anything that happened in the past

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they can't hurt you they can't say nothing

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about you baby you we got this so

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the healing and i mean that that healing

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is real and because of that healing i

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move about the earth differently just my

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decisions even with my children i could

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that's a whole nother as a mom a

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young mom

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I'm not going to say I wasn't a

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good mom,

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but I could have done a lot better

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to the point where I even,

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now that they're older and they let me

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have it, y'all.

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They let me have it.

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And I allow them to let me have

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it because I'm two young black boys

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walking around on this earth,

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mad and angry and having mommy issues.

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So I have to apologize.

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Let them throw that all up on me

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and they still healing this.

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And it's okay.

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I let them, I don't,

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I give them a space,

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but the healing that occurred,

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cause I know what I did.

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I know the habit that I'll be throwing

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my babies.

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I know.

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And I had to apologize to them and

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then let them let me have it and

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just let them do what they do for

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them to heal.

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Because before I leave this earth,

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they have to be healed.

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Yeah.

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I love the fact that you are being

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so transparent because that's what people

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need to hear.

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And that's why we have this show.

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Because guilt, shame,

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all of those things out of that negative

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bucket will have you in a mental prison.

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And for you to be able to tell

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your sons

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I'm sorry.

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That's like the most powerful.

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I'm sorry.

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And I love you.

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It really can like shift instantly.

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So thank you for sharing that because, um,

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You're just coming up.

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I can relate.

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Anyone who has loved on a child should

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be able to relate because as the adults

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in the lives of people that we've raised,

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and I say people because it may not

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necessarily be your child.

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It could be a stepchild.

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It could be a niece or a nephew,

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someone that you've raised.

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Right.

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We have to own the mistakes that we've

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made because we've all made mistakes.

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With my oldest son and with all of

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my sons,

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I've acknowledged where I have fallen

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short and what I recognize as having

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fallen short.

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To my oldest son,

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when I was a teen mom,

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I acknowledged to him the things that I

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didn't know.

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And and sorry that I and I apologize

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to him for not not being able to

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recognize that he needed more than what

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then I knew how to give him.

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And, you know, we were kids.

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We were we were growing up.

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while they were growing yes we at the

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same time and when you have your teen

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or young mom you're doing the best that

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you can with the resources that you have

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and i think the main thing we were

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doing was just surviving yeah we never

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thrive you go from a job to taking

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them to school so you have any money

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to do extracurricular activities going

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there to help you you buy yourself yeah

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and you in a unhealthy relationship and

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situationships and that's not even just

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romantic yeah it could be friendships yeah

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i know you know so with that my

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next question for you sis is how do

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you help other women so hearing that

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negative voice in their head that's

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constantly telling them that they're

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defeated

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How can they get to a space where

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they start listening to that positive

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voice?

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Because I think that's the challenge.

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All the things we just said, dude,

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it's heavy.

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That is heavy.

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So you may turn to a bottle.

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You may turn to some self-destructive

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behavior that does not serve you well.

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What tips do you have?

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And how do you not let the fact

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that you've been abused,

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the fact that you have been a single

00:10:16.818 --> 00:10:19.240
parent, the fact that you have been,

00:10:20.020 --> 00:10:23.342
name whatever the statistic is that you

00:10:23.383 --> 00:10:24.984
may have been that.

00:10:25.303 --> 00:10:27.306
How do you get past that fact and

00:10:27.346 --> 00:10:28.626
not let that define you?

00:10:28.846 --> 00:10:30.168
I want to tie that in with Kat's

00:10:30.187 --> 00:10:30.528
question.

00:10:31.061 --> 00:10:32.743
yeah so i'm just going to be and

00:10:32.763 --> 00:10:34.163
i'm going to be transparent again that's

00:10:34.605 --> 00:10:36.667
why we asked you to be yeah so

00:10:36.907 --> 00:10:39.009
for me i'm gonna be honest i feel

00:10:39.048 --> 00:10:40.831
that i have a warrior spirit because the

00:10:40.890 --> 00:10:43.734
things y'all i haven't even scraped i

00:10:43.754 --> 00:10:45.895
haven't even the things that i could tell

00:10:45.916 --> 00:10:48.097
you that has happened to me and

00:10:49.078 --> 00:10:51.019
i just felt every time something happened

00:10:51.080 --> 00:10:53.020
i would always cry and then look at

00:10:53.041 --> 00:10:55.221
me like that there's something better

00:10:55.241 --> 00:10:57.101
there's something more that's just my mind

00:10:57.142 --> 00:10:58.822
that was just my mind even though it

00:10:58.863 --> 00:11:00.243
probably wasn't in front of my face that

00:11:00.263 --> 00:11:02.464
was my mind it took it was hard

00:11:02.484 --> 00:11:05.505
for me y'all i didn't i'll say maybe

00:11:05.605 --> 00:11:08.206
once i got into my late thirties early

00:11:08.267 --> 00:11:10.927
forties that's when for some odd reason i

00:11:10.967 --> 00:11:12.727
woke up and i swear something whispered in

00:11:12.748 --> 00:11:13.948
my ears that that's enough

00:11:15.477 --> 00:11:16.519
And I'm being honest with you.

00:11:16.558 --> 00:11:18.038
I've told this to so many people.

00:11:18.460 --> 00:11:19.679
And I tell women now, I mean,

00:11:19.740 --> 00:11:21.841
I rather had made that decision early,

00:11:21.900 --> 00:11:23.261
you know, in my twenties, thirties,

00:11:23.282 --> 00:11:24.361
but I guess, you know, as women,

00:11:24.381 --> 00:11:25.903
we go, we grow.

00:11:26.222 --> 00:11:28.384
You don't have the testimony without the

00:11:28.464 --> 00:11:28.585
test.

00:11:28.865 --> 00:11:29.245
Yes.

00:11:30.205 --> 00:11:32.787
And so then with that, first of all,

00:11:32.846 --> 00:11:33.767
I had to make sure I had a

00:11:33.807 --> 00:11:35.128
relationship with the Most High,

00:11:35.148 --> 00:11:35.727
the Divine.

00:11:36.128 --> 00:11:37.168
And that's what I did.

00:11:37.229 --> 00:11:38.629
And then also I had to make sure

00:11:38.649 --> 00:11:39.830
I had a relationship to myself.

00:11:39.850 --> 00:11:41.051
So then I had to start pointing to

00:11:41.091 --> 00:11:42.792
myself and telling myself, Ebony,

00:11:42.851 --> 00:11:43.331
I love you.

00:11:45.280 --> 00:11:45.942
Ebony, I love you.

00:11:46.001 --> 00:11:46.261
And I mean,

00:11:46.302 --> 00:11:48.123
to the point where I got emotional because

00:11:48.423 --> 00:11:49.743
I had to start cutting people off.

00:11:50.062 --> 00:11:51.403
I had to let go of friends.

00:11:51.744 --> 00:11:52.945
I had to let go of people who

00:11:52.965 --> 00:11:54.664
I always let them have access to me.

00:11:55.005 --> 00:11:55.346
I had to.

00:11:55.405 --> 00:11:57.167
So with with that,

00:11:58.326 --> 00:11:59.327
the answer to the question,

00:11:59.467 --> 00:12:01.168
it came from the inside.

00:12:01.227 --> 00:12:01.708
It was just.

00:12:02.509 --> 00:12:04.328
i don't i honestly i don't know if

00:12:04.370 --> 00:12:05.629
it was a divine or what i just

00:12:05.649 --> 00:12:07.090
know when i woke up being at two

00:12:07.110 --> 00:12:08.571
hundred thirty pounds too because i was a

00:12:08.591 --> 00:12:10.230
heavy girl and when i woke up i

00:12:10.250 --> 00:12:12.051
remember something said that's enough and

00:12:12.071 --> 00:12:13.532
when i woke up i'm gonna be honest

00:12:13.611 --> 00:12:15.892
i left the husband i lost the weight

00:12:15.991 --> 00:12:17.513
i lost the weight first then i left

00:12:17.533 --> 00:12:18.613
the husband because there were some things

00:12:18.633 --> 00:12:21.073
that happened prior but i stayed but i

00:12:21.134 --> 00:12:22.533
mentally check out as women

00:12:22.854 --> 00:12:24.796
we can go and your husband can do

00:12:24.836 --> 00:12:26.758
things to you or a boyfriend and and

00:12:26.798 --> 00:12:28.879
it's like i forgive you but once we

00:12:28.919 --> 00:12:30.942
lose that respect or that trust or once

00:12:30.961 --> 00:12:32.864
you really did something that really cut a

00:12:32.884 --> 00:12:35.605
boundary oh we mentally check out and

00:12:35.645 --> 00:12:37.467
eventually leaving and i knew i was gonna

00:12:37.488 --> 00:12:39.208
leave so um

00:12:39.894 --> 00:12:40.436
For me,

00:12:40.975 --> 00:12:42.837
it was just me speaking to myself.

00:12:42.957 --> 00:12:44.879
I have no problem speaking to myself.

00:12:45.179 --> 00:12:46.782
So that's basically speaking life into

00:12:46.802 --> 00:12:48.123
myself, pouring into myself.

00:12:48.504 --> 00:12:49.565
I even said, I remember saying,

00:12:49.605 --> 00:12:50.446
I'm going to lose this weight.

00:12:50.706 --> 00:12:51.125
But I was like,

00:12:51.166 --> 00:12:51.846
I want to lose weight,

00:12:51.866 --> 00:12:52.788
but I want it to be healthy.

00:12:52.807 --> 00:12:53.688
I don't want surgeries.

00:12:53.729 --> 00:12:54.889
And I'm not, you know,

00:12:54.929 --> 00:12:55.530
to each his own.

00:12:55.910 --> 00:12:56.951
And it's just that came.

00:12:56.971 --> 00:12:57.793
And then after that came,

00:12:57.812 --> 00:12:58.774
the confidence came.

00:12:58.994 --> 00:13:01.216
So it was almost like once I started

00:13:01.235 --> 00:13:01.436
that,

00:13:01.517 --> 00:13:03.097
everything just started aligning and just

00:13:03.138 --> 00:13:03.839
coming together.

00:13:05.244 --> 00:13:08.206
And so what process do you take women

00:13:08.245 --> 00:13:11.808
through that you are coaching through

00:13:11.828 --> 00:13:14.610
their life on how to break those unhealthy

00:13:14.691 --> 00:13:15.150
cycles?

00:13:15.431 --> 00:13:16.451
What's that process?

00:13:16.751 --> 00:13:17.292
The process,

00:13:17.371 --> 00:13:18.812
the first thing is forgiving yourself.

00:13:19.153 --> 00:13:20.514
You have to forgive yourself because I

00:13:20.534 --> 00:13:21.956
used to beat myself up real bad.

00:13:23.196 --> 00:13:24.437
You have to forgive yourself.

00:13:24.977 --> 00:13:26.538
Women, we will beat ourselves up.

00:13:26.599 --> 00:13:27.599
We will beat ourselves up.

00:13:27.818 --> 00:13:28.779
And with no one knowing,

00:13:28.799 --> 00:13:29.681
we will be in our head,

00:13:29.740 --> 00:13:31.062
in our own head, beating ourselves up.

00:13:31.302 --> 00:13:32.442
So first thing I tell them to do

00:13:32.503 --> 00:13:33.903
is stand in front of a mirror and

00:13:33.943 --> 00:13:34.624
forgive yourself.

00:13:34.932 --> 00:13:36.212
And then start speaking life into

00:13:36.232 --> 00:13:36.594
yourself.

00:13:36.614 --> 00:13:38.054
And when I say speak life into yourself

00:13:38.095 --> 00:13:39.076
and pour into your cup,

00:13:39.196 --> 00:13:40.856
like I was married, I raised a husband.

00:13:41.677 --> 00:13:42.198
It's funny,

00:13:42.219 --> 00:13:43.559
but I raised a husband and children.

00:13:44.019 --> 00:13:47.102
And I caught that.

00:13:47.604 --> 00:13:47.923
I do.

00:13:48.024 --> 00:13:48.364
I do.

00:13:48.543 --> 00:13:48.945
I did.

00:13:49.164 --> 00:13:49.544
I did.

00:13:49.966 --> 00:13:51.447
And so with that,

00:13:51.547 --> 00:13:53.469
my cup was running empty because nobody

00:13:53.489 --> 00:13:54.529
was pouring back into me.

00:13:54.970 --> 00:13:56.591
so then i had to start doing about

00:13:56.691 --> 00:13:58.110
a healthy boundary like you know what

00:13:58.130 --> 00:13:59.791
y'all y'all have to give me a second

00:13:59.831 --> 00:14:01.052
i said if you want dinner you want

00:14:01.091 --> 00:14:02.511
the weight if you want dinner then you

00:14:02.532 --> 00:14:03.832
can come in and help with some things

00:14:03.893 --> 00:14:05.393
as well and they started helping i stopped

00:14:05.413 --> 00:14:07.033
thanksgiving dinner one time everybody's

00:14:07.053 --> 00:14:08.514
playing video games my back hurt my

00:14:08.533 --> 00:14:10.274
sciatic nerve and that's when i was happy

00:14:10.293 --> 00:14:11.434
so i had these big boobs trying to

00:14:11.475 --> 00:14:12.075
hold those up

00:14:12.375 --> 00:14:14.416
standing up cooking and i remember i threw

00:14:14.535 --> 00:14:17.956
all the spoons down and everything and my

00:14:17.976 --> 00:14:19.738
husband then and my boys like mommy what

00:14:20.038 --> 00:14:21.259
i said i'm done i said can y'all

00:14:21.278 --> 00:14:22.879
see i'm struggling in this kitchen i'm i

00:14:22.919 --> 00:14:24.440
don't feel good and i stopped i didn't

00:14:24.460 --> 00:14:25.980
cook thanksgiving dinner girl after that

00:14:26.221 --> 00:14:28.302
they was the like girl uh what is

00:14:28.322 --> 00:14:30.383
that duncan heim helpers girl they was

00:14:31.123 --> 00:14:32.683
Mommy, what do you mean?

00:14:32.703 --> 00:14:33.063
Like Duncan,

00:14:33.083 --> 00:14:34.244
they would throw the cheese and after I

00:14:34.264 --> 00:14:35.364
cook one meal or dish,

00:14:35.583 --> 00:14:36.985
they would clean the whole kitchen and be

00:14:37.004 --> 00:14:38.144
like, mommy, you ready for the next?

00:14:38.404 --> 00:14:39.566
And they've been like that ever since.

00:14:39.885 --> 00:14:42.166
So it's just, I tell women,

00:14:42.547 --> 00:14:44.187
once you respect and love yourself,

00:14:44.606 --> 00:14:46.727
everyone around you have no choice but to

00:14:46.768 --> 00:14:47.988
honor that, period.

00:14:48.368 --> 00:14:49.528
I don't care who gets mad.

00:14:49.769 --> 00:14:50.889
I don't care what anyone say.

00:14:51.109 --> 00:14:51.408
I said,

00:14:51.469 --> 00:14:53.090
just try it and see what happens.

00:14:53.110 --> 00:14:53.909
You don't have to be mad.

00:14:53.950 --> 00:14:54.970
You ain't got to curse people out.

00:14:54.990 --> 00:14:55.890
You don't have to do anything.

00:14:56.610 --> 00:14:59.052
Nothing is worse for anybody but to see

00:14:59.091 --> 00:15:00.471
a person be calm and quiet

00:15:00.772 --> 00:15:02.133
and you start seeing them come together

00:15:02.153 --> 00:15:03.413
because they're gonna be like okay what's

00:15:03.433 --> 00:15:05.696
she doing so you're teaching women to

00:15:05.836 --> 00:15:08.798
model behavior they want to see right you

00:15:08.837 --> 00:15:10.859
better say it and point to themselves so

00:15:10.879 --> 00:15:12.679
when when i say model behavior i mean

00:15:12.720 --> 00:15:14.562
like literally like you gonna give me a

00:15:14.621 --> 00:15:16.403
second when i lost the weight it was

00:15:16.442 --> 00:15:17.803
hard because i was cooking dinner for

00:15:17.823 --> 00:15:19.164
everybody i was at home

00:15:19.605 --> 00:15:20.365
So I'm cooking dinner.

00:15:20.385 --> 00:15:20.966
I'm cooking all this.

00:15:20.986 --> 00:15:22.227
And then when I kept getting bigger and

00:15:22.248 --> 00:15:22.928
bigger, and I was just like,

00:15:23.028 --> 00:15:23.610
I can't do this.

00:15:23.629 --> 00:15:24.951
And I'm feeling nauseous and sick.

00:15:25.250 --> 00:15:26.131
Then I stopped.

00:15:26.312 --> 00:15:28.375
I removed all the Kool-Aid and sugar out

00:15:28.394 --> 00:15:28.735
the house.

00:15:28.835 --> 00:15:29.956
Everybody came home.

00:15:29.996 --> 00:15:30.736
What is going on?

00:15:31.018 --> 00:15:32.639
I said, I got to get myself together.

00:15:32.860 --> 00:15:34.100
And since I'm the one that cooked,

00:15:34.120 --> 00:15:35.363
y'all going to have to join this ride

00:15:35.383 --> 00:15:35.663
with me.

00:15:35.702 --> 00:15:36.604
And that's exactly what they did.

00:15:36.624 --> 00:15:37.424
And everybody lost weight.

00:15:37.445 --> 00:15:37.884
Shoot, Karen,

00:15:37.904 --> 00:15:40.989
that's like you were being vegan, eh?

00:15:43.537 --> 00:15:45.557
I used to make two or three different

00:15:45.638 --> 00:15:47.599
pots, two or three different dishes.

00:15:47.619 --> 00:15:50.799
Really?

00:15:50.960 --> 00:15:51.500
Oh, yeah.

00:15:53.942 --> 00:15:54.782
Your parents would say,

00:15:55.182 --> 00:15:56.442
what I put on this table is what

00:15:56.523 --> 00:15:58.464
you're going to eat.

00:15:58.504 --> 00:16:01.725
I made the choice to become vegan.

00:16:02.385 --> 00:16:03.385
They didn't.

00:16:03.466 --> 00:16:04.167
Initially,

00:16:04.466 --> 00:16:07.168
I would make my vegan meal and then

00:16:07.248 --> 00:16:09.229
I would make what they wanted.

00:16:10.458 --> 00:16:11.119
You did that.

00:16:12.080 --> 00:16:13.620
And I did it for quite a bit

00:16:13.660 --> 00:16:14.260
of time.

00:16:14.341 --> 00:16:16.383
I really didn't stop, to be honest,

00:16:16.442 --> 00:16:18.063
until my boys went off to college.

00:16:18.183 --> 00:16:19.384
Yeah.

00:16:19.485 --> 00:16:20.666
And I see, I come over, girl,

00:16:20.686 --> 00:16:21.726
that I get fed well.

00:16:21.807 --> 00:16:23.327
I know you do.

00:16:23.567 --> 00:16:25.089
My refrigerator light bulb screen,

00:16:25.109 --> 00:16:25.369
they're like,

00:16:25.389 --> 00:16:26.330
you know ain't nothing in here for me.

00:16:26.350 --> 00:16:27.770
Yeah,

00:16:27.791 --> 00:16:29.211
because I stopped at twenty eighteen.

00:16:29.513 --> 00:16:29.913
But, you know,

00:16:30.092 --> 00:16:33.475
you talked about showing up for the world

00:16:33.696 --> 00:16:35.657
and modeling.

00:16:36.398 --> 00:16:38.259
You have a program called Glow Up

00:16:39.085 --> 00:16:41.145
Can you talk about that?

00:16:41.285 --> 00:16:42.105
Yes, I can.

00:16:42.346 --> 00:16:44.446
So that is called Grounded Livingness

00:16:44.546 --> 00:16:45.547
Outstanding Women.

00:16:46.267 --> 00:16:48.187
And I created that group because even with

00:16:48.226 --> 00:16:49.888
me losing the weight, so I go outside,

00:16:49.908 --> 00:16:50.488
I walk a lot.

00:16:50.508 --> 00:16:51.248
I like nature.

00:16:51.528 --> 00:16:53.388
I don't like bugs, but I like nature.

00:16:53.427 --> 00:16:54.989
So I'll go out when I walk at

00:16:55.009 --> 00:16:55.389
the parks,

00:16:55.448 --> 00:16:56.729
I take off my shoes and stand in

00:16:56.749 --> 00:16:57.168
the grass.

00:16:57.389 --> 00:16:58.350
Now, you know, our age,

00:16:58.389 --> 00:16:59.250
we did that back then.

00:17:00.221 --> 00:17:01.003
I don't know if y'all did.

00:17:01.123 --> 00:17:01.363
I did.

00:17:01.384 --> 00:17:02.104
I'm from Illinois.

00:17:02.144 --> 00:17:03.866
So from a small Southern,

00:17:04.106 --> 00:17:05.167
so we walked barefooted,

00:17:05.409 --> 00:17:07.131
but I just feel when you go outside

00:17:07.191 --> 00:17:09.093
and you stand in that grass and you're

00:17:09.113 --> 00:17:11.576
in a safe space, I really, to,

00:17:11.695 --> 00:17:14.680
to be aligned and to regroup with

00:17:14.720 --> 00:17:15.260
creation.

00:17:16.117 --> 00:17:16.917
Because I'm outside.

00:17:17.178 --> 00:17:18.898
So to be aligned with creation and just

00:17:18.919 --> 00:17:20.479
spend that time with creation in yourself,

00:17:20.499 --> 00:17:21.200
whether it's the trees,

00:17:21.220 --> 00:17:22.160
because they're all alive.

00:17:22.180 --> 00:17:23.440
We are part of earth, period.

00:17:23.759 --> 00:17:25.760
All of us are.

00:17:25.861 --> 00:17:26.181
Yes.

00:17:26.421 --> 00:17:27.902
So when I'm outside and I'm doing it,

00:17:28.082 --> 00:17:29.382
I am so at peace and I go

00:17:29.402 --> 00:17:30.461
in full meditation.

00:17:30.761 --> 00:17:32.762
So then that's why I put grounded because

00:17:32.823 --> 00:17:33.623
I'm so grounded.

00:17:34.242 --> 00:17:35.644
My feet are planted in the ground.

00:17:36.124 --> 00:17:38.945
you understand so i'm so grounded and i'm

00:17:38.986 --> 00:17:41.087
limitless so now that i got my mindset

00:17:41.107 --> 00:17:42.669
to where nothing's gonna stop it's

00:17:42.729 --> 00:17:44.589
limitless for me because i can't put that

00:17:44.670 --> 00:17:46.290
i'm not putting that rooftop over my head

00:17:46.551 --> 00:17:48.113
i'm not putting i'm not in the box

00:17:48.492 --> 00:17:49.733
i'm not i'm not going to do it

00:17:49.773 --> 00:17:51.194
i've been in the box too long y'all

00:17:51.214 --> 00:17:55.157
i'm tired yeah nobody puts baby in the

00:17:55.218 --> 00:17:56.719
corner don't nobody

00:18:00.461 --> 00:18:02.321
So in addition to Glow Up,

00:18:02.422 --> 00:18:09.443
you created a self-love journal and a

00:18:09.483 --> 00:18:14.805
thirty-day manifestation journal.

00:18:15.444 --> 00:18:18.306
So writing is a part of that healing

00:18:18.326 --> 00:18:18.685
journey.

00:18:18.905 --> 00:18:20.507
What are some of the things you have

00:18:20.707 --> 00:18:21.406
women write about?

00:18:22.195 --> 00:18:23.718
So here's the journal right here.

00:18:23.738 --> 00:18:25.239
I got all my journals there on Amazon

00:18:25.700 --> 00:18:27.221
and the journals are amazing.

00:18:27.240 --> 00:18:27.662
So I got,

00:18:27.741 --> 00:18:29.163
the book is Ninety Days and they got

00:18:29.242 --> 00:18:30.384
all the different sections in it.

00:18:30.403 --> 00:18:32.346
You got a section for self-love and you

00:18:32.365 --> 00:18:34.568
just go over about getting to know about

00:18:34.628 --> 00:18:36.691
self-love, self-love journaling,

00:18:36.790 --> 00:18:39.093
intentions, self-love goals,

00:18:39.273 --> 00:18:40.414
asking questions to yourself.

00:18:40.434 --> 00:18:41.655
Remember I told them to start asking

00:18:41.675 --> 00:18:42.517
themselves questions.

00:18:42.856 --> 00:18:44.258
You ask yourself an honest question,

00:18:44.278 --> 00:18:45.578
and you answer it honestly.

00:18:45.838 --> 00:18:47.000
And then you listen to that question,

00:18:47.019 --> 00:18:47.921
and you think about it like,

00:18:47.941 --> 00:18:49.761
what type of answer did I just say?

00:18:50.063 --> 00:18:50.883
And that lets you know.

00:18:51.183 --> 00:18:51.644
So basically,

00:18:51.663 --> 00:18:53.444
you're becoming aware of self.

00:18:53.585 --> 00:18:55.207
Because even now, even as of today,

00:18:55.507 --> 00:18:56.748
there's things that will come to me,

00:18:56.847 --> 00:18:58.148
and I'm wondering why I'm either getting a

00:18:58.169 --> 00:18:58.929
small anxiety.

00:18:59.190 --> 00:19:00.371
So then I'll stop, and I'll breathe.

00:19:00.411 --> 00:19:00.871
And I'll be like, well,

00:19:00.891 --> 00:19:01.811
why are you thinking that, Ebony?

00:19:01.832 --> 00:19:01.991
Yeah.

00:19:03.615 --> 00:19:05.636
breathe breathe relax but why are you

00:19:05.696 --> 00:19:07.777
thinking that now stop right there what

00:19:07.817 --> 00:19:09.817
made you think of that what just happened

00:19:09.837 --> 00:19:11.137
what did you and so i'm just being

00:19:11.178 --> 00:19:13.097
aware i don't beat myself up but i'm

00:19:13.138 --> 00:19:15.019
being aware and i'm being intentional

00:19:15.219 --> 00:19:16.638
because i need to know what made me

00:19:16.679 --> 00:19:18.220
what triggered me to do that and what

00:19:18.240 --> 00:19:19.799
made i just and so i teach women

00:19:19.819 --> 00:19:20.940
do that and this this is a big

00:19:21.339 --> 00:19:23.320
it's and so we just do everything from

00:19:23.401 --> 00:19:25.862
self-worth to self-care the four selves

00:19:25.902 --> 00:19:27.301
self-worth self-care self-

00:19:27.862 --> 00:19:29.301
um affirm and all that stuff is speaking

00:19:29.342 --> 00:19:31.462
life into yourself so that's where this

00:19:31.522 --> 00:19:33.123
helps with women who just needs to help

00:19:33.383 --> 00:19:34.523
who needs to heal now i'm not going

00:19:34.564 --> 00:19:35.824
to say it's going to heal you completely

00:19:35.864 --> 00:19:37.964
but it gets you started so you start

00:19:38.065 --> 00:19:40.305
you start with yourself that's right

00:19:40.644 --> 00:19:42.086
because a lot of people start with other

00:19:42.105 --> 00:19:43.986
people you want other people to tell you

00:19:44.026 --> 00:19:46.446
about you instead of talking to yourself

00:19:46.467 --> 00:19:48.646
to find out more about you and that's

00:19:48.727 --> 00:19:50.627
really important to me you know the other

00:19:50.647 --> 00:19:52.127
thing that i wanted to make sure i

00:19:52.147 --> 00:19:54.308
say this so i don't forget because my

00:19:54.348 --> 00:19:55.169
brother's out there

00:19:55.848 --> 00:19:57.730
need help too and i know that your

00:19:57.770 --> 00:19:59.951
program you're focused on women but we are

00:20:00.011 --> 00:20:02.894
mothers of men we are and i know

00:20:03.173 --> 00:20:05.715
i always want i always said with all

00:20:05.736 --> 00:20:08.356
the dysfunction i didn't want to raise my

00:20:08.436 --> 00:20:10.878
sons to be the men that i can't

00:20:10.919 --> 00:20:15.201
stand oh girl t-shirt right yes

00:20:17.528 --> 00:20:20.411
What can we say about those brothers?

00:20:20.451 --> 00:20:22.952
Because a lot of women, like you said,

00:20:23.032 --> 00:20:24.273
we're in these relationships.

00:20:24.354 --> 00:20:25.115
We stay.

00:20:25.434 --> 00:20:26.556
We stay too long.

00:20:26.576 --> 00:20:28.156
We stay for the wrong reasons.

00:20:28.637 --> 00:20:30.338
But they broke in too.

00:20:31.539 --> 00:20:33.760
And if we don't break the cycle in

00:20:33.902 --> 00:20:34.922
our communities,

00:20:35.583 --> 00:20:37.703
we're going to continue to repeat these

00:20:37.763 --> 00:20:39.806
curses, these generational curses.

00:20:40.185 --> 00:20:41.247
And it takes all of us.

00:20:41.267 --> 00:20:42.948
So I understand we're getting our stuff

00:20:42.968 --> 00:20:43.348
together.

00:20:43.669 --> 00:20:43.929
I know.

00:20:44.328 --> 00:20:45.810
But we got to bring them along.

00:20:45.990 --> 00:20:46.250
We do.

00:20:46.989 --> 00:20:47.409
I agree.

00:20:47.628 --> 00:20:48.309
I totally agree.

00:20:49.650 --> 00:20:50.911
So what was your question for that baby?

00:20:52.551 --> 00:20:54.532
Tell me how do you have any programming

00:20:54.593 --> 00:20:55.012
in that?

00:20:55.073 --> 00:20:58.335
Have you considered that at all?

00:20:58.375 --> 00:20:59.776
Do you have any of the women in

00:21:00.516 --> 00:21:01.517
your space?

00:21:02.176 --> 00:21:04.137
Are they working for a family?

00:21:04.157 --> 00:21:05.699
Because I think it's a wraparound service.

00:21:05.778 --> 00:21:07.380
I know when a woman is strong,

00:21:07.680 --> 00:21:09.180
then the family is together, right?

00:21:10.000 --> 00:21:13.001
But we also know that if our men

00:21:13.122 --> 00:21:14.303
are not receptive,

00:21:14.843 --> 00:21:15.824
that's going to be for shit.

00:21:16.682 --> 00:21:17.241
It is friction.

00:21:17.482 --> 00:21:18.143
I totally agree.

00:21:18.363 --> 00:21:19.284
So in my group,

00:21:19.483 --> 00:21:21.984
I don't have anything for men,

00:21:22.265 --> 00:21:23.145
but in my group,

00:21:23.185 --> 00:21:24.707
whoever women that I talk to,

00:21:25.027 --> 00:21:26.688
I don't man bash because I loves me

00:21:26.728 --> 00:21:27.048
a man.

00:21:27.288 --> 00:21:28.689
So that's one thing I'm not doing.

00:21:28.769 --> 00:21:30.450
I would never man bash, ever.

00:21:30.829 --> 00:21:32.371
Because I feel sometimes if you keep on

00:21:32.391 --> 00:21:33.731
walking into them same relationships,

00:21:33.751 --> 00:21:34.913
you got to look at yourself because why

00:21:34.932 --> 00:21:36.093
you keep attracting those same people.

00:21:36.113 --> 00:21:37.854
You're the common denominator.

00:21:37.953 --> 00:21:38.734
You got to say it.

00:21:38.775 --> 00:21:39.915
So when you do that,

00:21:39.935 --> 00:21:41.435
you can't keep blaming all these,

00:21:41.856 --> 00:21:43.218
all around here, they always know, sis,

00:21:43.258 --> 00:21:44.498
what are you doing to keep attracting

00:21:44.518 --> 00:21:45.679
those same type of men, mama?

00:21:47.208 --> 00:21:48.729
And why do you keep settling for it

00:21:48.769 --> 00:21:50.328
when you realize that you should be doing

00:21:50.348 --> 00:21:52.130
an about face and stop making excuses?

00:21:52.150 --> 00:21:52.349
Yeah.

00:21:53.211 --> 00:21:55.631
Because what energy are you putting out

00:21:55.651 --> 00:21:58.271
there when you meet these men that let

00:21:58.311 --> 00:22:00.452
them make a beeline straight to you?

00:22:00.813 --> 00:22:01.193
Yeah.

00:22:01.874 --> 00:22:02.554
Yeah.

00:22:03.193 --> 00:22:11.217
And so when at twenty five, twenty six,

00:22:11.257 --> 00:22:11.938
twenty six,

00:22:12.617 --> 00:22:15.378
I read in Yala Van Zandt Acts of

00:22:15.419 --> 00:22:15.719
Faith.

00:22:17.345 --> 00:22:19.749
And one of the things she says is

00:22:19.788 --> 00:22:20.931
right.

00:22:21.030 --> 00:22:22.733
One of the things she said in the

00:22:22.753 --> 00:22:22.913
book,

00:22:22.953 --> 00:22:24.536
nice that I printed out and I had

00:22:24.557 --> 00:22:26.179
on my wall for many years.

00:22:27.340 --> 00:22:30.646
She talks about the fact that we have.

00:22:32.404 --> 00:22:35.886
We have warranties on things that we

00:22:35.946 --> 00:22:36.906
purchase, right?

00:22:37.367 --> 00:22:39.729
You get to bring it home and test

00:22:39.788 --> 00:22:40.669
it out for like,

00:22:40.729 --> 00:22:43.230
ninety days to see if it's a thing

00:22:43.269 --> 00:22:44.931
that you want to keep.

00:22:45.790 --> 00:22:49.313
We need to look at new relationships the

00:22:49.393 --> 00:22:50.252
same way.

00:22:50.913 --> 00:22:52.193
Take time.

00:22:52.574 --> 00:22:53.914
So when you meet somebody,

00:22:54.335 --> 00:22:56.395
take time to examine them.

00:22:56.875 --> 00:22:58.977
Listen to what they're saying.

00:23:00.402 --> 00:23:03.163
Make sure that what they want is what

00:23:03.364 --> 00:23:03.983
you want.

00:23:04.084 --> 00:23:07.605
And what they're saying aligns with how

00:23:07.625 --> 00:23:08.546
they're walking.

00:23:08.926 --> 00:23:10.547
Because she was talking about the fact

00:23:10.586 --> 00:23:13.249
that we need to take at least ninety

00:23:13.269 --> 00:23:15.869
days before becoming physical with

00:23:15.930 --> 00:23:16.269
someone.

00:23:16.549 --> 00:23:17.830
Because once you become physical,

00:23:17.871 --> 00:23:19.332
all the blinders are off, right?

00:23:19.711 --> 00:23:20.893
I'm in love.

00:23:21.133 --> 00:23:24.074
Okay, he hit me in my eye,

00:23:24.134 --> 00:23:25.134
but I just love him.

00:23:25.394 --> 00:23:26.915
Whereas I went to the extreme.

00:23:27.256 --> 00:23:32.598
But if you take time and listen to

00:23:32.659 --> 00:23:33.720
what they're saying,

00:23:33.799 --> 00:23:36.320
not just and watch what they're doing and

00:23:36.340 --> 00:23:37.721
make sure that the two align.

00:23:38.821 --> 00:23:41.003
So when I met my husband at twenty

00:23:41.064 --> 00:23:45.365
six, I took that perspective with him.

00:23:45.506 --> 00:23:48.288
Let me see what this man is talking

00:23:48.327 --> 00:23:48.627
about.

00:23:49.690 --> 00:23:52.352
is what i'm talking about and is he

00:23:52.412 --> 00:23:56.314
not just talking but it are his actions

00:23:56.453 --> 00:23:59.895
aligning with what he's saying and do i

00:23:59.935 --> 00:24:01.616
want to go the same place that he's

00:24:01.656 --> 00:24:05.098
going you know and that was the first

00:24:05.159 --> 00:24:07.880
time that i had taken time to like

00:24:08.039 --> 00:24:14.304
really examine as an adult you know how

00:24:16.053 --> 00:24:18.336
What I wanted in relationship and making

00:24:18.395 --> 00:24:20.698
sure that the person that I was getting

00:24:20.738 --> 00:24:23.902
connected to wanted the same things,

00:24:24.001 --> 00:24:25.743
had the same values.

00:24:25.943 --> 00:24:27.125
Because before, you know,

00:24:28.046 --> 00:24:29.247
as a young twenty-something,

00:24:29.728 --> 00:24:31.068
it was pretty superficial.

00:24:31.589 --> 00:24:32.931
You know, he looked good.

00:24:32.971 --> 00:24:34.313
He, you know, he cute.

00:24:34.813 --> 00:24:35.814
He smell good.

00:24:35.834 --> 00:24:37.434
He fine.

00:24:37.714 --> 00:24:38.556
That kind of thing.

00:24:38.955 --> 00:24:42.778
And I really took the time to make

00:24:42.818 --> 00:24:44.601
sure we wanted the same things and we

00:24:44.641 --> 00:24:45.862
had the same values.

00:24:47.773 --> 00:24:49.234
As women,

00:24:49.255 --> 00:24:51.215
because what I had to realize is that

00:24:52.517 --> 00:24:54.378
I wanted something different than what I

00:24:54.398 --> 00:24:56.579
was getting out of past relationships.

00:24:56.599 --> 00:24:58.501
Step number one.

00:24:58.721 --> 00:25:01.304
And so I had to realize I was

00:25:01.324 --> 00:25:02.724
the common denominator.

00:25:03.345 --> 00:25:05.145
I kept wondering, well, dang,

00:25:05.205 --> 00:25:07.048
why I keep getting put in this zone?

00:25:07.488 --> 00:25:09.108
Why am I not, you know,

00:25:09.169 --> 00:25:10.509
why am I not getting wifed up?

00:25:10.529 --> 00:25:11.230
What's going on?

00:25:12.892 --> 00:25:14.553
You wasn't wife material, baby.

00:25:16.157 --> 00:25:17.500
I want to be real with myself.

00:25:18.601 --> 00:25:19.521
That's right.

00:25:19.541 --> 00:25:20.782
And men know what they want.

00:25:20.883 --> 00:25:22.223
It's not no game with the men know

00:25:22.263 --> 00:25:23.224
if they're going to wipe you or not.

00:25:23.285 --> 00:25:23.645
They know.

00:25:24.105 --> 00:25:25.928
And so it didn't matter that you had

00:25:25.968 --> 00:25:26.428
a couple of,

00:25:26.528 --> 00:25:27.849
it didn't matter that I had a couple

00:25:27.869 --> 00:25:30.712
of degrees and initials behind my name.

00:25:32.314 --> 00:25:34.997
Was I being the person who would be

00:25:35.096 --> 00:25:36.878
someone's partner?

00:25:37.038 --> 00:25:37.098
Yep.

00:25:37.798 --> 00:25:39.599
And I had to take my,

00:25:39.759 --> 00:25:42.603
I had to take myself out and look

00:25:42.663 --> 00:25:45.464
at me and examine me, you know?

00:25:45.845 --> 00:25:47.766
No, I wasn't.

00:25:47.786 --> 00:25:49.567
Cause then y'all also asked the question,

00:25:49.887 --> 00:25:51.009
would you want to date you?

00:25:52.009 --> 00:25:52.750
Facts.

00:25:53.190 --> 00:25:55.551
She also has a quote that I like

00:25:55.571 --> 00:25:55.932
to use.

00:25:55.951 --> 00:25:58.413
I put it in my cat's declaration of

00:25:58.453 --> 00:25:59.074
independence.

00:25:59.295 --> 00:26:00.315
I was going through my stuff.

00:26:01.556 --> 00:26:03.156
Don't sit at a table where love is

00:26:03.196 --> 00:26:06.579
no longer served with me all day.

00:26:07.013 --> 00:26:07.493
What'd you say?

00:26:08.515 --> 00:26:09.795
No, I said, oh yeah, I'm no,

00:26:09.914 --> 00:26:10.596
I'm on that.

00:26:10.756 --> 00:26:12.155
I'm no, I'm easy immediately.

00:26:12.215 --> 00:26:13.217
Like, and I'm not mad.

00:26:13.277 --> 00:26:14.156
I'm not arguing.

00:26:14.196 --> 00:26:14.758
Like we good.

00:26:14.778 --> 00:26:14.958
Right.

00:26:16.057 --> 00:26:16.598
Because that's,

00:26:16.739 --> 00:26:18.880
that's something that that's a question.

00:26:19.220 --> 00:26:20.921
Thank you guys.

00:26:20.961 --> 00:26:22.601
When we do find healing,

00:26:22.661 --> 00:26:24.122
when we are confident,

00:26:24.182 --> 00:26:27.703
what I sometimes run into is, uh,

00:26:27.743 --> 00:26:30.785
sometimes that person is intimidated by my

00:26:30.805 --> 00:26:31.025
growth.

00:26:31.045 --> 00:26:31.105
Hmm.

00:26:33.205 --> 00:26:33.605
Right.

00:26:33.645 --> 00:26:34.987
My spirituality, my walk,

00:26:35.007 --> 00:26:36.067
who I am right now,

00:26:36.106 --> 00:26:38.188
my financial stability, all these things.

00:26:39.008 --> 00:26:42.028
What advice do we have for us women

00:26:42.528 --> 00:26:44.470
when we get to our healing space?

00:26:45.250 --> 00:26:47.851
Not only how do we continue to maintain

00:26:47.871 --> 00:26:48.990
that, maintain it,

00:26:49.391 --> 00:26:51.771
but then go into leadership roles like,

00:26:51.912 --> 00:26:52.231
you know,

00:26:52.756 --> 00:26:56.196
and teach other women and maintain it

00:26:56.458 --> 00:26:58.498
because i know i personally have to

00:26:58.538 --> 00:27:01.078
maintain my anxiety my depression my ptsd

00:27:01.098 --> 00:27:03.400
i still have to work at it like

00:27:03.500 --> 00:27:05.800
it's not a one and done nope you

00:27:05.820 --> 00:27:08.382
were given the metaphor caring about the

00:27:08.422 --> 00:27:10.442
car and the warranty well you you get

00:27:10.462 --> 00:27:13.124
maintenance on your vehicle you do make

00:27:13.144 --> 00:27:14.644
this on your home you make sure you

00:27:14.704 --> 00:27:15.825
call the maintenance person at your

00:27:15.845 --> 00:27:18.507
apartment whatever it is what about your

00:27:18.547 --> 00:27:20.948
mind your soul yeah can you can you

00:27:20.968 --> 00:27:21.928
uh speak to that

00:27:22.798 --> 00:27:24.980
so for me the way that i do

00:27:25.040 --> 00:27:26.521
it that helps me because i i do

00:27:26.541 --> 00:27:27.983
go because i love me companionship right

00:27:28.003 --> 00:27:30.346
now i am single and i've been single

00:27:30.605 --> 00:27:32.847
but i'm okay with that i don't go

00:27:32.867 --> 00:27:34.328
out there and look for something to be

00:27:34.348 --> 00:27:37.151
like oh i feel like i'm because i'm

00:27:37.191 --> 00:27:38.893
not judging friends because i have friends

00:27:38.913 --> 00:27:40.914
from all over but that's just not me

00:27:40.974 --> 00:27:43.297
if i'm in i'm not going to season

00:27:43.317 --> 00:27:45.459
that of where you are at all

00:27:46.118 --> 00:27:48.340
So the way I am for me with

00:27:48.361 --> 00:27:48.560
that,

00:27:49.040 --> 00:27:51.162
I just move accordingly because I feel

00:27:51.182 --> 00:27:52.803
that that person that's going to come is

00:27:52.823 --> 00:27:53.284
going to come.

00:27:53.364 --> 00:27:54.564
Even if I meet people and we're just

00:27:54.585 --> 00:27:55.865
friends and we go out for coffee,

00:27:56.165 --> 00:27:57.326
we go out for, you know,

00:27:57.385 --> 00:27:58.626
go out and just enjoy each other's

00:27:58.666 --> 00:27:59.166
company.

00:27:59.428 --> 00:28:00.428
Now, I want to say this.

00:28:00.909 --> 00:28:02.249
I deeply enjoy my company.

00:28:02.288 --> 00:28:03.990
So I have no problem being by people

00:28:04.009 --> 00:28:05.431
like you go to movies by yourself.

00:28:05.550 --> 00:28:06.271
I sure do.

00:28:06.592 --> 00:28:08.452
And I laugh and have a blast.

00:28:08.553 --> 00:28:09.854
It's called you going to the show with

00:28:09.874 --> 00:28:10.094
yourself.

00:28:10.114 --> 00:28:10.374
Go ahead.

00:28:12.875 --> 00:28:13.076
Yeah.

00:28:13.175 --> 00:28:14.037
And you're exactly right.

00:28:14.076 --> 00:28:15.357
But I, and I, I enjoy,

00:28:15.478 --> 00:28:16.617
I enjoy my own company.

00:28:16.739 --> 00:28:17.058
I do.

00:28:17.398 --> 00:28:19.079
I have such a high level of respect

00:28:19.119 --> 00:28:19.640
for myself.

00:28:19.839 --> 00:28:21.981
So I don't care if someone comes to

00:28:22.001 --> 00:28:23.242
me and be like, Oh, well you do.

00:28:23.363 --> 00:28:23.623
Okay.

00:28:23.663 --> 00:28:24.844
Well, sir, then I'm not for you.

00:28:25.163 --> 00:28:25.943
And that's okay.

00:28:26.265 --> 00:28:28.125
So for right now, what, what keeps me,

00:28:28.165 --> 00:28:29.886
I think your question is what keeps me.

00:28:30.567 --> 00:28:30.807
Yeah.

00:28:30.826 --> 00:28:31.827
What, what helps you,

00:28:31.887 --> 00:28:33.828
what helps you move from that personal

00:28:33.848 --> 00:28:36.411
healing into like leadership service and

00:28:36.471 --> 00:28:36.711
keep,

00:28:37.050 --> 00:28:39.192
keep with your maintenance of where you

00:28:39.292 --> 00:28:41.173
are and your success in your growth.

00:28:41.637 --> 00:28:42.959
Because I see a lot of women that

00:28:42.999 --> 00:28:43.459
need my help.

00:28:43.479 --> 00:28:44.159
Y'all don't understand.

00:28:44.219 --> 00:28:45.000
I see a lot of women.

00:28:45.039 --> 00:28:45.480
They cry.

00:28:45.500 --> 00:28:46.240
They break down.

00:28:46.701 --> 00:28:47.560
And I just be talking to God.

00:28:47.580 --> 00:28:48.281
And I was like, okay,

00:28:48.301 --> 00:28:49.422
you must want me to help them.

00:28:49.461 --> 00:28:51.603
And then I get these goosebumps from the

00:28:51.702 --> 00:28:52.463
inside of my body.

00:28:52.483 --> 00:28:53.483
They're not on the outside.

00:28:53.784 --> 00:28:54.625
And I feel that...

00:28:56.786 --> 00:28:58.567
I just feel that I'm being told, like,

00:28:58.666 --> 00:28:59.867
I need you to help them just because

00:28:59.887 --> 00:29:00.847
of all that I've been through.

00:29:00.867 --> 00:29:02.009
That's what keeps me going.

00:29:02.969 --> 00:29:05.171
That personally what keeps me going.

00:29:05.270 --> 00:29:06.330
I have women that come to me that

00:29:06.351 --> 00:29:07.051
want to lose weight.

00:29:07.432 --> 00:29:09.553
I have women that come to me that...

00:29:11.590 --> 00:29:13.251
there's so many issues y'all that I could

00:29:13.291 --> 00:29:13.971
go off of.

00:29:14.752 --> 00:29:15.972
There are some women that are with their

00:29:15.992 --> 00:29:17.213
husbands that don't want to be with their

00:29:17.253 --> 00:29:17.713
husbands.

00:29:18.374 --> 00:29:18.834
Um,

00:29:18.933 --> 00:29:20.234
I guess I gotta be careful with things

00:29:20.255 --> 00:29:20.815
that I say.

00:29:21.875 --> 00:29:22.155
Yeah.

00:29:22.195 --> 00:29:23.415
So it's just that, uh,

00:29:24.356 --> 00:29:25.817
I try to get them to love on

00:29:25.837 --> 00:29:26.678
themselves first,

00:29:26.877 --> 00:29:27.897
because this is how I feel.

00:29:27.938 --> 00:29:29.199
If you're with someone currently,

00:29:29.558 --> 00:29:30.940
and if they love you and they see

00:29:30.980 --> 00:29:31.519
you, you,

00:29:31.579 --> 00:29:33.661
you starting to align with self and see

00:29:33.681 --> 00:29:34.260
that healing,

00:29:34.560 --> 00:29:36.102
if they're going to be well balanced with

00:29:36.122 --> 00:29:36.221
you,

00:29:36.241 --> 00:29:37.762
they're going to make those changes too.

00:29:37.843 --> 00:29:38.022
Yeah.

00:29:38.682 --> 00:29:40.405
But if they're not for you and if

00:29:40.425 --> 00:29:41.548
they can't make those changes,

00:29:41.567 --> 00:29:43.131
it's okay to let people go.

00:29:43.211 --> 00:29:43.652
It's okay.

00:29:43.912 --> 00:29:45.635
Sometimes folks care as a partner.

00:29:46.635 --> 00:29:47.615
You said what?

00:29:47.635 --> 00:29:50.057
Sometimes growth scares a partner.

00:29:50.218 --> 00:29:51.038
Oh, that's bad.

00:29:51.097 --> 00:29:52.939
If they're not ready to move from where

00:29:52.959 --> 00:29:54.900
they are, it could frighten them.

00:29:55.160 --> 00:29:59.021
But women can't let that stop them from

00:29:59.082 --> 00:29:59.981
their personal growth journey.

00:30:00.001 --> 00:30:00.142
I know.

00:30:00.162 --> 00:30:00.362
It stops.

00:30:00.382 --> 00:30:03.144
Because I sat for a long time.

00:30:03.183 --> 00:30:03.864
But then when I told you,

00:30:03.884 --> 00:30:04.943
when I woke up and someone said,

00:30:04.963 --> 00:30:05.545
that's enough,

00:30:05.825 --> 00:30:06.825
it's like I lost the weight.

00:30:06.865 --> 00:30:07.306
I left.

00:30:07.385 --> 00:30:07.806
I moved.

00:30:07.865 --> 00:30:08.925
I paid all the bills before I even

00:30:08.945 --> 00:30:09.125
left.

00:30:09.165 --> 00:30:09.445
I was like,

00:30:09.487 --> 00:30:10.326
I'll pay the bills for you.

00:30:10.366 --> 00:30:10.606
All right.

00:30:10.926 --> 00:30:11.527
And I left.

00:30:11.606 --> 00:30:12.208
I was like, yeah, I can't.

00:30:12.228 --> 00:30:12.307
Yeah.

00:30:12.327 --> 00:30:14.868
That's powerful.

00:30:15.325 --> 00:30:16.925
I hope I answered your question, Kat.

00:30:17.405 --> 00:30:17.967
Yeah, you did.

00:30:17.987 --> 00:30:21.909
You know, it's... She thanked him.

00:30:21.929 --> 00:30:24.049
I'm probably not saying it is right, girl.

00:30:24.170 --> 00:30:25.971
I'm probably not saying it and I apologize

00:30:25.991 --> 00:30:29.614
for that because my thought is we do

00:30:29.713 --> 00:30:31.755
all this healing and we get to a

00:30:31.795 --> 00:30:32.976
space of healing,

00:30:33.455 --> 00:30:36.157
but there is a level of maintenance that

00:30:36.218 --> 00:30:37.798
we must continue to do.

00:30:38.219 --> 00:30:39.920
In addition to that maintenance,

00:30:40.628 --> 00:30:44.032
How do we push ourselves in spaces of

00:30:44.113 --> 00:30:46.096
leadership, of empowerment,

00:30:46.375 --> 00:30:47.337
financial freedom?

00:30:47.637 --> 00:30:50.561
Because now we may be in new territory.

00:30:51.603 --> 00:30:53.645
We may never have had the opportunity to

00:30:53.746 --> 00:30:56.970
lead or to get financial freedom.

00:31:00.078 --> 00:31:01.239
Because we've been surviving.

00:31:01.259 --> 00:31:01.659
Yeah.

00:31:01.699 --> 00:31:02.058
So we're healed.

00:31:02.078 --> 00:31:03.660
Then it's now what?

00:31:03.680 --> 00:31:03.759
Yeah.

00:31:04.720 --> 00:31:07.240
The work that comes after the healing so

00:31:07.260 --> 00:31:09.382
that you can get to your next level

00:31:09.561 --> 00:31:12.362
of growth because of the spiritual healing

00:31:12.422 --> 00:31:14.022
is the first thing because you had to

00:31:14.083 --> 00:31:16.202
do that first so that you can level

00:31:16.364 --> 00:31:16.423
up.

00:31:17.703 --> 00:31:19.723
And so in your work with women,

00:31:20.345 --> 00:31:22.125
when they get past the healing,

00:31:22.224 --> 00:31:24.046
are you still working with them in the

00:31:24.105 --> 00:31:24.786
leveling up?

00:31:25.693 --> 00:31:27.275
So for me, with that part,

00:31:27.375 --> 00:31:29.355
I'm going to be with Kat.

00:31:29.455 --> 00:31:30.516
Once I did the healing,

00:31:30.916 --> 00:31:32.416
I'm now in the financial part.

00:31:32.798 --> 00:31:33.557
Got you.

00:31:33.597 --> 00:31:34.858
So that's where I'm at now.

00:31:35.219 --> 00:31:35.479
Okay.

00:31:36.044 --> 00:31:36.983
And I really,

00:31:37.625 --> 00:31:39.065
would I say I need guidance on that?

00:31:39.204 --> 00:31:39.726
I sure do.

00:31:39.846 --> 00:31:41.405
I'm not, I'm just being transparent.

00:31:41.786 --> 00:31:42.606
I would need help with that.

00:31:43.007 --> 00:31:43.247
Yeah,

00:31:43.527 --> 00:31:45.127
I would definitely need help in that

00:31:45.188 --> 00:31:45.627
field.

00:31:46.147 --> 00:31:47.709
But as far as just healing and protecting

00:31:47.729 --> 00:31:49.048
boundaries and pointing to myself,

00:31:49.189 --> 00:31:49.910
I love myself.

00:31:50.029 --> 00:31:50.769
I'll walk the walk.

00:31:51.230 --> 00:31:52.590
I'm in the mirror every day.

00:31:53.010 --> 00:31:54.872
I was patient and all.

00:31:54.971 --> 00:31:56.352
I got it down pat, ma'am.

00:31:58.913 --> 00:31:59.232
That's right.

00:31:59.252 --> 00:31:59.794
I know that's right.

00:31:59.933 --> 00:32:00.054
Yeah.

00:32:00.074 --> 00:32:01.894
In your life coaching with women,

00:32:01.933 --> 00:32:04.535
you're walking them through the steps of

00:32:04.595 --> 00:32:05.756
where they can get

00:32:06.806 --> 00:32:08.307
to get to that next level.

00:32:08.406 --> 00:32:11.009
And then whatever their next level is

00:32:11.028 --> 00:32:11.890
going to be, because for some,

00:32:11.950 --> 00:32:12.829
it could be financial.

00:32:12.869 --> 00:32:13.371
For others,

00:32:13.490 --> 00:32:15.412
it could be the life after the

00:32:15.451 --> 00:32:16.232
relationship.

00:32:16.472 --> 00:32:19.255
But just getting to that point and the

00:32:19.315 --> 00:32:21.036
work that needs to be done to get

00:32:21.076 --> 00:32:21.616
to that point,

00:32:21.656 --> 00:32:22.778
to get to the next level,

00:32:23.117 --> 00:32:24.699
is the work that you're doing with them.

00:32:24.719 --> 00:32:26.259
Is that right?

00:32:26.380 --> 00:32:26.800
Yes.

00:32:27.340 --> 00:32:27.560
Yes.

00:32:27.942 --> 00:32:28.422
And I get it.

00:32:28.442 --> 00:32:30.583
Because taking that first step is scary

00:32:30.604 --> 00:32:31.844
for a lot of women.

00:32:32.065 --> 00:32:33.184
Very scary.

00:32:33.224 --> 00:32:34.707
Just having someone

00:32:35.469 --> 00:32:37.549
to walk that path with them?

00:32:38.371 --> 00:32:40.712
And are you an accountability partner with

00:32:40.732 --> 00:32:42.193
them when you're walking that walk?

00:32:42.394 --> 00:32:43.934
Yeah, I have no problem letting you know.

00:32:43.974 --> 00:32:44.816
I'm like, now, see?

00:32:45.336 --> 00:32:46.817
Now, Bertha, you know you said.

00:32:48.498 --> 00:32:49.598
And you know what you want.

00:32:49.618 --> 00:32:51.599
And you know what you, and I'm like,

00:32:51.619 --> 00:32:52.861
now, you have yourself to blame.

00:32:52.881 --> 00:32:53.781
So I'm not going to have no cut

00:32:53.801 --> 00:32:55.163
cards because I wanted somebody to be like

00:32:55.182 --> 00:32:55.663
that with me.

00:32:56.023 --> 00:32:57.724
Don't tell me to be my friend.

00:32:57.765 --> 00:32:58.384
No, let me know.

00:32:58.704 --> 00:32:59.566
Ebony, you was wrong.

00:32:59.826 --> 00:32:59.986
Now,

00:33:00.046 --> 00:33:01.527
I've done some things in my life that

00:33:01.606 --> 00:33:02.488
I'm ashamed of.

00:33:02.768 --> 00:33:03.949
And I had a girlfriend told me,

00:33:03.969 --> 00:33:04.930
she's like, you was dead.

00:33:05.951 --> 00:33:07.192
The way she talked, she was like,

00:33:07.231 --> 00:33:08.432
you did wrong.

00:33:08.471 --> 00:33:09.472
And I love her till this day.

00:33:09.692 --> 00:33:09.953
She said,

00:33:09.973 --> 00:33:11.335
because you don't know how you just made

00:33:11.355 --> 00:33:12.194
that other woman feel.

00:33:12.214 --> 00:33:12.476
She said,

00:33:12.516 --> 00:33:13.737
you never took her feelings into

00:33:13.757 --> 00:33:14.336
consideration.

00:33:14.557 --> 00:33:16.519
She said, she told me off.

00:33:16.878 --> 00:33:17.940
And when I hung up that phone,

00:33:18.140 --> 00:33:18.940
I cried.

00:33:19.800 --> 00:33:20.461
I cried.

00:33:20.701 --> 00:33:21.903
And until that day, when I look,

00:33:22.063 --> 00:33:22.803
I have never,

00:33:22.823 --> 00:33:24.585
when I say I've never done that again,

00:33:24.845 --> 00:33:25.986
and I held myself accountable,

00:33:26.086 --> 00:33:26.967
I had to call her back and tell

00:33:26.987 --> 00:33:27.666
her, till this day,

00:33:27.747 --> 00:33:28.587
I still tell her thank you.

00:33:28.607 --> 00:33:29.469
Because that was years ago.

00:33:29.749 --> 00:33:31.349
But the way she went off on me,

00:33:31.569 --> 00:33:32.451
to me, that's a friend.

00:33:36.205 --> 00:33:36.465
Yeah.

00:33:36.705 --> 00:33:38.626
So that's, I want to be an accountability.

00:33:38.646 --> 00:33:39.747
I mean, that's how I am.

00:33:39.807 --> 00:33:40.867
I'm doing to speak to you now.

00:33:40.968 --> 00:33:41.887
Will I be nice about it?

00:33:41.928 --> 00:33:42.087
Yeah.

00:33:42.127 --> 00:33:43.229
But if you keep doing, I'm like,

00:33:43.249 --> 00:33:44.368
well then what are you coming to me?

00:33:44.409 --> 00:33:45.029
What do you want?

00:33:45.269 --> 00:33:46.529
Cause I can't do nothing for you that

00:33:46.569 --> 00:33:47.851
you're not going to do for yourself.

00:33:48.211 --> 00:33:48.590
Hello.

00:33:48.730 --> 00:33:49.971
I can't speak life to you if you're

00:33:50.092 --> 00:33:51.932
not willing to speak life into yourself.

00:33:51.952 --> 00:33:52.792
That's right.

00:33:52.813 --> 00:33:54.354
That would be the hardest part of being

00:33:54.394 --> 00:33:57.714
a life coach for me.

00:33:57.755 --> 00:33:58.115
Really?

00:33:58.174 --> 00:33:58.234
Yes.

00:33:58.694 --> 00:34:01.175
Because even when I'm dealing with my

00:34:01.215 --> 00:34:02.396
youthful clients, um,

00:34:03.007 --> 00:34:04.208
And I'm telling them,

00:34:04.248 --> 00:34:05.848
particularly the teenagers,

00:34:05.909 --> 00:34:07.269
the young people, the young adults,

00:34:07.309 --> 00:34:09.110
because I work with youth up to age

00:34:09.150 --> 00:34:09.811
twenty one.

00:34:10.793 --> 00:34:13.514
And I'm telling you the things as your

00:34:13.554 --> 00:34:15.916
lawyer and also as someone who has lived

00:34:15.956 --> 00:34:17.257
for fifty six years.

00:34:17.496 --> 00:34:18.237
Yes.

00:34:18.277 --> 00:34:21.519
Try X, Y and Z here.

00:34:21.679 --> 00:34:24.802
Here's an approach that will probably work

00:34:24.842 --> 00:34:26.262
for you.

00:34:26.523 --> 00:34:26.884
And.

00:34:28.057 --> 00:34:31.079
Let's get to these, do these things.

00:34:31.739 --> 00:34:33.599
And they still keep bumping their head

00:34:33.840 --> 00:34:34.920
against the door.

00:34:35.559 --> 00:34:38.842
And then when they actually go, ouch,

00:34:38.922 --> 00:34:39.621
that hurt.

00:34:40.601 --> 00:34:41.922
But I told you that.

00:34:42.382 --> 00:34:43.722
And so the life coach,

00:34:43.742 --> 00:34:45.943
that would be very frustrating to me.

00:34:45.963 --> 00:34:47.945
Because at the age of twenty, I'm like,

00:34:48.664 --> 00:34:49.184
I told you that.

00:34:49.760 --> 00:34:50.742
Yeah, I will.

00:34:50.942 --> 00:34:51.802
I will do this.

00:34:52.063 --> 00:34:52.802
I will say this,

00:34:52.822 --> 00:34:54.204
that I tell a lot of my the

00:34:54.224 --> 00:34:56.346
women in the Glow Collective and women

00:34:56.365 --> 00:34:57.646
that I speak to personally,

00:34:58.427 --> 00:35:00.329
something that I've learned when it's time

00:35:00.349 --> 00:35:02.070
to be still, it's time to be still.

00:35:02.090 --> 00:35:03.811
But sometimes you want to keep going and

00:35:03.831 --> 00:35:04.032
going.

00:35:04.052 --> 00:35:05.313
And then if you're not doing nothing,

00:35:05.333 --> 00:35:06.313
you think everything is wrong.

00:35:06.574 --> 00:35:07.574
You got to be still.

00:35:07.795 --> 00:35:09.775
So if there's a season of and some

00:35:09.795 --> 00:35:10.996
people like, well, this is my season.

00:35:11.056 --> 00:35:12.097
I feel it's always your season.

00:35:12.117 --> 00:35:13.139
There's a season to be still.

00:35:13.159 --> 00:35:14.219
There's a season to move.

00:35:14.239 --> 00:35:15.240
There's a season to pray.

00:35:15.460 --> 00:35:16.802
There's a season to be quiet.

00:35:16.842 --> 00:35:17.963
So it's always your season.

00:35:18.023 --> 00:35:19.103
But what season are you in?

00:35:19.824 --> 00:35:21.646
So it's not just there's a one season.

00:35:22.085 --> 00:35:23.047
There's always a season.

00:35:23.246 --> 00:35:24.148
There was a season where I had to

00:35:24.168 --> 00:35:25.628
be still because I didn't know that I

00:35:25.648 --> 00:35:26.730
was divinely being protected,

00:35:26.750 --> 00:35:27.951
being kept for something I shouldn't have

00:35:27.971 --> 00:35:29.632
been into because I would have went gun

00:35:29.652 --> 00:35:30.913
home and went on about my business,

00:35:30.932 --> 00:35:32.153
but then it would have ruined me.

00:35:33.434 --> 00:35:34.775
And then there's things where I might have

00:35:34.795 --> 00:35:36.597
did something and now that's,

00:35:36.637 --> 00:35:37.077
what is that?

00:35:38.039 --> 00:35:39.000
I forgot what that word is.

00:35:39.539 --> 00:35:40.320
Cause and effect.

00:35:40.521 --> 00:35:41.842
Because I did that,

00:35:42.081 --> 00:35:43.764
now that's the effect because of what I

00:35:43.784 --> 00:35:43.864
did.

00:35:43.884 --> 00:35:45.525
So now I got to sit there and

00:35:45.565 --> 00:35:45.945
take it.

00:35:46.186 --> 00:35:48.947
Sometimes you reap, sometimes you sow.

00:35:49.568 --> 00:35:53.952
And so people always not negative.

00:35:54.231 --> 00:35:54.891
And it's not always.

00:35:54.932 --> 00:35:55.813
So when you sit in there,

00:35:55.853 --> 00:35:57.293
if you might've missed this whole thing,

00:35:57.534 --> 00:35:58.755
don't take that as a negative.

00:35:58.795 --> 00:35:59.976
There might not have been your time.

00:35:59.996 --> 00:36:00.556
That's okay.

00:36:00.817 --> 00:36:01.858
To me, it's not a, no,

00:36:01.938 --> 00:36:03.318
it's just that it's not a solid.

00:36:03.338 --> 00:36:04.320
No, it's just that not right now.

00:36:04.340 --> 00:36:06.141
Not right now.

00:36:06.181 --> 00:36:07.362
Sometimes that's the answer.

00:36:07.722 --> 00:36:08.882
So people take negative.

00:36:09.003 --> 00:36:09.222
Yeah.

00:36:11.085 --> 00:36:13.226
Waiting on God to open the door.

00:36:13.626 --> 00:36:14.387
And God is like,

00:36:14.507 --> 00:36:15.307
I need you to be right there in

00:36:15.327 --> 00:36:15.867
the waiting room.

00:36:15.887 --> 00:36:16.469
Yeah.

00:36:18.085 --> 00:36:19.746
That's all right.

00:36:19.786 --> 00:36:22.268
Because this door is not ready for you

00:36:22.788 --> 00:36:24.228
and you're not ready for this door.

00:36:24.469 --> 00:36:25.809
Just wait.

00:36:25.889 --> 00:36:27.010
And so when I go through that,

00:36:27.130 --> 00:36:27.931
I've been like, all right.

00:36:27.990 --> 00:36:29.431
I was like, I messed up on that.

00:36:29.451 --> 00:36:30.692
And I was like, but you know what?

00:36:30.731 --> 00:36:31.552
I learned my lesson.

00:36:31.811 --> 00:36:32.353
Thank you.

00:36:32.713 --> 00:36:33.773
I've learned that and said,

00:36:33.793 --> 00:36:34.653
now when I move forward,

00:36:34.693 --> 00:36:35.994
I'll make a different decision and I'll

00:36:36.034 --> 00:36:36.695
move accordingly.

00:36:38.628 --> 00:36:40.568
And so you've got a couple of different

00:36:41.409 --> 00:36:44.391
business ventures outside of that.

00:36:45.751 --> 00:36:47.632
So that T-shirt,

00:36:47.713 --> 00:36:49.213
tell us what the T-shirt said.

00:36:49.635 --> 00:36:51.016
So I do have a clothing line.

00:36:51.076 --> 00:36:52.356
It's all a T-shirt line with the I

00:36:52.516 --> 00:36:52.737
am.

00:36:54.217 --> 00:36:55.878
I am a firm believer of words are

00:36:55.918 --> 00:36:56.318
spelled.

00:36:56.358 --> 00:36:57.579
So when you speak something out of your

00:36:57.619 --> 00:36:59.061
mouth, you write.

00:36:59.380 --> 00:37:01.001
So if you say you always broke and

00:37:01.021 --> 00:37:04.525
you always attract these men,

00:37:04.625 --> 00:37:06.525
because you said it, you are right.

00:37:06.786 --> 00:37:08.186
That's the energy that you are carrying.

00:37:08.226 --> 00:37:09.827
So please be mindful of the words you

00:37:09.847 --> 00:37:10.047
speak.

00:37:10.068 --> 00:37:12.130
I always tell people, words are spells.

00:37:12.170 --> 00:37:14.471
So make it work out for your highest

00:37:14.510 --> 00:37:14.731
good.

00:37:14.771 --> 00:37:15.992
So I have a whole t-shirt line.

00:37:16.371 --> 00:37:17.693
I am a master manifester.

00:37:17.952 --> 00:37:18.994
I am love and light.

00:37:19.474 --> 00:37:20.275
I am greatness.

00:37:20.655 --> 00:37:21.155
I am this.

00:37:21.175 --> 00:37:22.677
So because when you say I am,

00:37:22.717 --> 00:37:23.657
that's a very powerful,

00:37:23.677 --> 00:37:25.137
because you know what they say in the

00:37:25.177 --> 00:37:25.398
Bible,

00:37:25.599 --> 00:37:27.739
who should I tell them who sent me?

00:37:28.219 --> 00:37:28.561
I am.

00:37:28.760 --> 00:37:29.121
I am.

00:37:29.880 --> 00:37:31.061
And that was all.

00:37:31.362 --> 00:37:33.023
And I get goosebumps every time I say

00:37:33.043 --> 00:37:33.204
it.

00:37:33.403 --> 00:37:33.704
I am.

00:37:33.804 --> 00:37:35.105
I was like, okay, sir.

00:37:35.445 --> 00:37:36.226
Okay, you know.

00:37:36.565 --> 00:37:37.365
So, yeah.

00:37:37.405 --> 00:37:39.387
So, I'm a firm believer just when you,

00:37:39.427 --> 00:37:41.088
whatever you say, start with I am.

00:37:41.329 --> 00:37:41.469
So,

00:37:41.489 --> 00:37:43.369
that's making you be mindful of the words

00:37:43.389 --> 00:37:45.391
that you speak, how you are thinking.

00:37:45.632 --> 00:37:47.632
And I feel it's a very good reminder

00:37:47.652 --> 00:37:50.175
to always profess of I am.

00:37:50.394 --> 00:37:51.155
I am love and light.

00:37:51.275 --> 00:37:52.797
I am divinity defined.

00:37:52.836 --> 00:37:53.336
What is her name?

00:37:53.416 --> 00:37:54.777
She's singing that song,

00:37:54.878 --> 00:37:56.039
I am the God on the inside.

00:37:56.059 --> 00:37:56.739
I am a star.

00:37:56.838 --> 00:37:57.800
I am a piece of it all.

00:37:57.960 --> 00:37:59.081
I am love and light.

00:38:00.940 --> 00:38:01.300
Okay.

00:38:01.340 --> 00:38:03.623
So you have the t-shirt line and then

00:38:03.643 --> 00:38:09.128
you also have body butters, right?

00:38:09.289 --> 00:38:09.628
I have, yep.

00:38:09.648 --> 00:38:10.590
I have a whole, yep.

00:38:10.670 --> 00:38:11.471
Luxury foot care.

00:38:11.570 --> 00:38:13.032
I sure do.

00:38:13.193 --> 00:38:16.295
Tell us about that and where we can

00:38:16.396 --> 00:38:17.617
find your products.

00:38:18.518 --> 00:38:20.079
Yes, I will do that.

00:38:22.335 --> 00:38:23.155
So basically,

00:38:24.677 --> 00:38:25.838
I take care of the feet and it's

00:38:25.878 --> 00:38:26.679
luxury foot care.

00:38:26.798 --> 00:38:28.079
All the ingredients are from the earth,

00:38:28.221 --> 00:38:28.701
everything.

00:38:28.760 --> 00:38:29.862
Because I love earth ingredients.

00:38:30.141 --> 00:38:31.222
Even the food that I put in my

00:38:31.262 --> 00:38:32.545
body is earthly.

00:38:33.045 --> 00:38:35.847
And I take care of the feet because

00:38:35.867 --> 00:38:37.028
I just feel there's a lot of things

00:38:37.108 --> 00:38:37.349
out there.

00:38:37.369 --> 00:38:38.971
There's body butters, hair, and...

00:38:39.490 --> 00:38:40.451
Skin is everything.

00:38:40.471 --> 00:38:40.871
But I'm like,

00:38:40.931 --> 00:38:42.211
no one's really taking care of their feet.

00:38:42.251 --> 00:38:43.791
And this carries you through your life

00:38:44.032 --> 00:38:45.253
until you leave this earth.

00:38:45.472 --> 00:38:47.054
You have to take care of your feet.

00:38:47.534 --> 00:38:49.173
I mean, we walk on it, we dance,

00:38:49.313 --> 00:38:50.135
everything that we do.

00:38:50.235 --> 00:38:51.394
So just, you know,

00:38:52.315 --> 00:38:55.556
creating those soaks where it helps detox

00:38:55.576 --> 00:38:56.416
the body through your feet.

00:38:56.436 --> 00:38:56.777
Because, you know,

00:38:56.797 --> 00:38:58.217
our feet have over seven thousand,

00:38:58.257 --> 00:39:00.117
ten thousand nerve endings in it.

00:39:00.657 --> 00:39:02.039
And we got to take care of, yeah,

00:39:02.079 --> 00:39:03.159
we have a lot of nerve ending in

00:39:03.199 --> 00:39:03.579
our feet.

00:39:03.860 --> 00:39:05.360
So it's one of our chakras too,

00:39:05.380 --> 00:39:06.762
that people don't look at one of the

00:39:06.802 --> 00:39:07.302
chakras.

00:39:07.402 --> 00:39:07.702
Yes.

00:39:08.043 --> 00:39:09.143
So when you take care of it and

00:39:09.204 --> 00:39:10.545
soak your feet and then you do the

00:39:10.585 --> 00:39:10.885
scrub,

00:39:10.905 --> 00:39:12.085
it's like you love it in your feet.

00:39:12.326 --> 00:39:13.467
You feel so much better.

00:39:13.487 --> 00:39:13.967
It's just like,

00:39:14.266 --> 00:39:16.548
it's helping promote circulation, um,

00:39:16.568 --> 00:39:17.989
decreases, uh, swelling.

00:39:18.050 --> 00:39:19.389
So I just love it.

00:39:19.429 --> 00:39:21.112
I love everything that I do.

00:39:21.391 --> 00:39:22.773
And then the food butter does come on

00:39:22.793 --> 00:39:23.833
the body as well, but it's like,

00:39:23.893 --> 00:39:26.215
I don't have any, um, the spent,

00:39:26.255 --> 00:39:26.735
what is that?

00:39:27.016 --> 00:39:27.155
Um,

00:39:28.896 --> 00:39:30.476
Like a chemical scent.

00:39:30.496 --> 00:39:32.496
So basically what you smell is what's in

00:39:32.516 --> 00:39:33.777
the ingredients that I put in there.

00:39:34.137 --> 00:39:35.737
I don't have any synthetic scents put in

00:39:35.777 --> 00:39:36.018
there.

00:39:37.157 --> 00:39:38.217
So everything that you smell,

00:39:38.237 --> 00:39:39.878
you'll smell the essential oils that I put

00:39:39.898 --> 00:39:40.219
in there.

00:39:40.478 --> 00:39:41.059
And I love it.

00:39:41.079 --> 00:39:41.858
And I do good.

00:39:41.898 --> 00:39:43.278
People like, what you got?

00:39:43.338 --> 00:39:44.599
Men, women, they love it.

00:39:44.619 --> 00:39:45.639
They'll come and be like, what you got,

00:39:45.659 --> 00:39:45.760
sis?

00:39:45.800 --> 00:39:48.579
So how do they get it?

00:39:48.599 --> 00:39:49.201
They get that.

00:39:49.240 --> 00:39:49.701
Thank you.

00:39:50.041 --> 00:39:50.880
They get that from...

00:39:52.134 --> 00:39:55.016
uh sunkissed glow sun girl

00:39:55.215 --> 00:39:58.836
www.sunkissedglow.org but sunkissed glow

00:39:58.916 --> 00:40:02.298
is g-l-o everyone always put that g-l-o-w

00:40:02.579 --> 00:40:04.400
but you know i'm i'm a chocolate girl

00:40:04.440 --> 00:40:07.802
so you know yes so it's said nope

00:40:07.842 --> 00:40:11.824
it's sunkissed it's s-u-n-k-i-s-s-e-d so

00:40:11.903 --> 00:40:13.905
it's okay is it is it dot com

00:40:14.385 --> 00:40:16.485
no sunkissedglow.org

00:40:16.826 --> 00:40:20.509
dot org yes and glow is glo so

00:40:20.568 --> 00:40:24.713
it's sun kissed with k-i-s-s-e-d glow glo

00:40:25.034 --> 00:40:27.655
dot org and i have an online store

00:40:28.115 --> 00:40:30.018
yes you forgot the other w unless it's

00:40:30.038 --> 00:40:31.579
there but they know they get it they

00:40:31.599 --> 00:40:36.003
get anybody anybody who's been on the

00:40:36.063 --> 00:40:39.447
internet knows no and you don't even need

00:40:39.487 --> 00:40:40.547
the w-w-w

00:40:42.248 --> 00:40:42.668
Yes.

00:40:42.748 --> 00:40:43.349
Yeah.

00:40:43.449 --> 00:40:44.070
And I love it.

00:40:44.110 --> 00:40:45.411
And I'm going to haven't even been a

00:40:45.451 --> 00:40:45.851
year yet.

00:40:45.911 --> 00:40:47.612
I debuted it on my fiftieth birthday,

00:40:47.891 --> 00:40:49.152
which is August twenty ninth.

00:40:49.172 --> 00:40:50.432
But I have my birthday, August thirty.

00:40:50.532 --> 00:40:52.253
So now I'll be fifty one and I

00:40:52.273 --> 00:40:53.534
got a new product coming out.

00:40:53.554 --> 00:40:54.054
So I'm excited.

00:40:54.074 --> 00:40:54.594
Do we have the exclusive?

00:40:54.614 --> 00:40:54.916
What's going on?

00:40:54.936 --> 00:40:55.016
Yeah.

00:40:55.096 --> 00:40:55.596
No, I can't tell you yet.

00:40:55.615 --> 00:40:55.655
OK,

00:40:55.675 --> 00:41:00.057
but you can say something's coming down

00:41:00.077 --> 00:41:01.018
the pipe and we need to follow you.

00:41:08.576 --> 00:41:09.356
It's amazing.

00:41:09.376 --> 00:41:09.775
Yes.

00:41:10.376 --> 00:41:12.398
I have a nice clientele email,

00:41:12.418 --> 00:41:13.318
so I'll be letting them know too.

00:41:13.398 --> 00:41:15.179
I'll be debuting.

00:41:15.739 --> 00:41:18.800
And then we can also email you at

00:41:19.280 --> 00:41:24.043
info at Sunkidsglow.org and the website

00:41:24.143 --> 00:41:28.887
for your organization is Productive and

00:41:28.947 --> 00:41:32.929
Prosperous Prosperous

00:41:33.347 --> 00:41:34.347
Empowerment.com.

00:41:34.407 --> 00:41:35.088
It's so embarrassing.

00:41:35.108 --> 00:41:35.929
People be like, girl,

00:41:35.949 --> 00:41:37.028
why is that so long?

00:41:37.268 --> 00:41:38.188
They be like, you make me sick.

00:41:38.228 --> 00:41:39.088
I said, I'm so sorry.

00:41:39.128 --> 00:41:39.289
So yeah.

00:41:39.309 --> 00:41:44.570
So that is Productive and Prosperous

00:41:44.610 --> 00:41:48.972
Empowerment.com and Sunkidsglow.org.

00:41:49.132 --> 00:41:49.751
You got it.

00:41:49.952 --> 00:41:51.711
You got it, mama.

00:41:51.731 --> 00:41:52.052
Go ahead.

00:41:52.311 --> 00:41:55.932
You putting up something else, Karen?

00:41:56.132 --> 00:41:57.893
No, go ahead.

00:41:57.914 --> 00:41:58.094
No, girl.

00:41:58.153 --> 00:41:59.594
We got to make sure we get it.

00:42:03.007 --> 00:42:04.668
We always want to continue to stop the

00:42:04.688 --> 00:42:05.789
stigma with mental health.

00:42:05.829 --> 00:42:09.413
So when life gets heavy and people just

00:42:09.452 --> 00:42:10.112
want to check out,

00:42:10.193 --> 00:42:13.576
what's your go-to mental health wellness

00:42:13.596 --> 00:42:15.458
practice to keep you grounded with all the

00:42:15.478 --> 00:42:16.157
things that you do?

00:42:16.679 --> 00:42:16.998
Yeah,

00:42:17.039 --> 00:42:19.121
so that actually happened to me not too

00:42:19.161 --> 00:42:19.601
long ago.

00:42:19.661 --> 00:42:20.822
I broke down hard, y'all.

00:42:21.443 --> 00:42:22.804
It was just everything was hitting me at

00:42:22.983 --> 00:42:23.204
once.

00:42:23.744 --> 00:42:23.985
And...

00:42:25.244 --> 00:42:27.349
I was just tired and I broke out

00:42:27.389 --> 00:42:27.829
crying.

00:42:27.931 --> 00:42:28.512
I'm going to be honest.

00:42:28.612 --> 00:42:29.773
I cried, I cried.

00:42:30.175 --> 00:42:31.577
And then I started talking, you know,

00:42:31.597 --> 00:42:33.581
to the divine and I was going for

00:42:33.601 --> 00:42:34.123
it, y'all.

00:42:34.222 --> 00:42:34.864
I was just...

00:42:35.646 --> 00:42:37.427
And I started breathing.

00:42:37.507 --> 00:42:39.527
So for me, I do breath work.

00:42:39.588 --> 00:42:41.188
Breath work will solve a lot of things

00:42:41.228 --> 00:42:43.210
because it just gets you in a good,

00:42:43.250 --> 00:42:43.929
safe space.

00:42:44.230 --> 00:42:45.550
You got to practice breath work.

00:42:46.090 --> 00:42:47.132
I'm an advocate of breath work.

00:42:47.172 --> 00:42:48.251
I do the four, seven, eight,

00:42:48.851 --> 00:42:50.012
and I do other breath works,

00:42:50.052 --> 00:42:51.853
but it calms me immediately because once

00:42:51.873 --> 00:42:53.315
you go into anxiety and your mind starts

00:42:53.335 --> 00:42:53.795
spiraling,

00:42:54.195 --> 00:42:56.155
soon as you start doing breath work,

00:42:56.396 --> 00:42:57.896
when I tell you it brings you back

00:42:57.916 --> 00:42:58.077
to,

00:42:58.416 --> 00:42:59.978
it gets you aligned and it just brings

00:42:59.998 --> 00:43:00.398
you back.

00:43:00.677 --> 00:43:01.759
And then that's where you're in a clear

00:43:01.798 --> 00:43:02.539
mind and clear space.

00:43:02.878 --> 00:43:04.099
Once I do my breath work,

00:43:04.420 --> 00:43:05.802
I'm calm now because I did it.

00:43:05.842 --> 00:43:06.422
The four, seven,

00:43:06.443 --> 00:43:07.903
eight is about five minutes long.

00:43:08.423 --> 00:43:09.585
I am totally calm.

00:43:09.846 --> 00:43:11.306
And then I start reciting,

00:43:11.347 --> 00:43:12.989
start repeating all my affirmations.

00:43:13.528 --> 00:43:14.389
I am loving life.

00:43:14.849 --> 00:43:16.070
I am life's best friend.

00:43:16.532 --> 00:43:17.331
I am this and that.

00:43:17.552 --> 00:43:18.914
So I, and I keep walking.

00:43:18.934 --> 00:43:21.396
I was like, even all my, excuse me,

00:43:21.416 --> 00:43:22.016
my vision boards,

00:43:22.056 --> 00:43:22.858
everything I got up there.

00:43:23.338 --> 00:43:24.759
I started talking all the things that I've

00:43:24.798 --> 00:43:25.519
done, all the things,

00:43:25.539 --> 00:43:27.342
but I always say everything in the present

00:43:27.382 --> 00:43:27.641
tense.

00:43:27.862 --> 00:43:29.322
So if I'm starting another clothing line,

00:43:29.342 --> 00:43:30.864
which I do have, it's amazing.

00:43:31.184 --> 00:43:35.568
But I say it as if I am.

00:43:36.228 --> 00:43:37.710
I am an A-figured entrepreneur.

00:43:37.731 --> 00:43:39.853
And I am the owner of multiple highly

00:43:39.893 --> 00:43:41.634
successful direct-to-consumer products

00:43:41.653 --> 00:43:42.934
that generate six figures a month.

00:43:42.974 --> 00:43:44.235
So I speak it as if it's already

00:43:44.255 --> 00:43:44.436
done.

00:43:44.456 --> 00:43:45.637
And I put myself in that.

00:43:45.938 --> 00:43:47.599
So I do that for me because I've

00:43:47.619 --> 00:43:48.579
been doing it for so long.

00:43:48.820 --> 00:43:50.262
So I know how to weigh myself back

00:43:50.322 --> 00:43:50.422
in.

00:43:50.442 --> 00:43:51.623
But I do teach the women.

00:43:51.963 --> 00:43:52.923
I do teach them that.

00:43:53.164 --> 00:43:53.384
I do.

00:43:54.125 --> 00:43:55.266
It's a practice,

00:43:55.306 --> 00:43:57.867
but that breath work is everything ladies.

00:43:58.548 --> 00:44:00.931
Amen.

00:44:00.971 --> 00:44:01.170
Love it.

00:44:01.190 --> 00:44:01.391
Love it.

00:44:01.411 --> 00:44:01.672
Love it.

00:44:01.692 --> 00:44:03.733
That breathing gets short and you try to

00:44:03.753 --> 00:44:04.755
take that deep breath.

00:44:05.755 --> 00:44:07.277
You know, so yeah, breathing is important.

00:44:07.396 --> 00:44:08.277
I love that as well.

00:44:08.458 --> 00:44:09.478
Thank you for sharing that.

00:44:09.518 --> 00:44:11.900
Thank you.

00:44:12.320 --> 00:44:13.603
Absolutely.

00:44:14.422 --> 00:44:15.643
And to our listeners,

00:44:15.945 --> 00:44:17.885
we want to thank you for joining us

00:44:17.945 --> 00:44:18.327
today.

00:44:19.012 --> 00:44:20.693
And subscribing to Conversations with

00:44:20.733 --> 00:44:23.434
Karen and Kat on YouTube, Facebook, IG,

00:44:23.474 --> 00:44:25.016
wherever you get your podcasts.

00:44:25.416 --> 00:44:26.117
Remember,

00:44:26.297 --> 00:44:28.378
you are part of the conversation.

00:44:29.418 --> 00:44:29.998
Once again,

00:44:30.159 --> 00:44:32.239
thank you for joining us on this episode

00:44:32.260 --> 00:44:33.661
of Conversations with Karen and Kat.

00:44:33.681 --> 00:44:33.760
Well,

00:44:33.780 --> 00:44:34.702
we are impacting the world one

00:44:34.722 --> 00:44:36.983
conversation at a time.